Wondrous Apparitions, Provided by Magicians.

I meant to mention that I dreamed last night that I was directing a remake of Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster, starring several of our agency's consumers. (I work with an agency that provides residential support to developmentally disabled adults.) Even so, mine was better than the original.

Also, my Free Will horoscope for the week informs me that in golf, if your ball lands next to a live rattlesnake, you may move it anywhere you like without penalty. We sort of figure there's a similar "alligator rule", but that if it's an alligator, you just get another ball and take the shot over. I'm not sure where to go with this as advice for spiritual development, especially since it's a personal policy to keep my balls away from rattlesnakes as much as possible. But there you are.

Also also, orcjohn came over last night for the Annual Festival of Tax Letter Preparation, so if you happen to be a person who contributes money to Gaia Community, your tax documentation from us is forthcoming. He also brought a lasagna that opaljax made for us, which looks very yummy, and which could feed the three of us for a month or so. (Therefore, if you come to visit us in the next week, you can pretty much expect to be fed lasagna. Life is hard.)

This week's Free Will:
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his book *Thumbsucker,* Walter Kirn explores the tension between security and passion. We all yearn to feel safe, he says, and yet we also need to express our native wildness, which is crucial in giving us a visceral sense of being ourselves. If we put too much emphasis on being careful, we squelch our primal urge for unpredictability and lose touch with our need to play. According to my analysis of the omens, Leo, you're at the end of a phase when caution and self-preservation have made sense. Don't wait too much longer before you put your ass on the line in search of too much fun.

Already this week I've had about seven bad ideas that smelled too good to ignore (not too good to not pursue, mind you). Thanks a damn lot, Rob.

Not that I have time to pursue bad ideas, anyway. Tonight, opaljax and I are working on brakes. The rest of the week is written off for getting information out about Winter Bazaar. Saturday, people from Dallas are coming to talk about our church and how they can make their church work better. Sunday there's more Dallas, and a ritual. Next week, I'm finding tables for the Bazaar, and maybe working on some of my stuff to sell. Wednesday night, we're going to triadruid's family's place for Thanksgiving on Thursday. Friday next looks pretty clear, though. Maybe I could have some bad ideas then.

For the record, Rob Brezny is a dick:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Most flowers depend on pollinators to reproduce. Birds and insects brush up against a flower's male parts, picking up pollen that they leave on the female parts of the next flower they visit. But nature has created an anomaly that doesn't play by these rules. A wild orchid known as *Holcoglossum amesianum* fecundates itself. Its male bits actually move, carrying out a complicated maneuver to reach around and down to deposit pollen directly into its female portions. This orchid is your power symbol, Leo. I hope it encourages you to learn more about self-fertilization--to increase your mastery of the underappreciated art of inspiring and teaching and taking care of yourself. Halloween costume
suggestion: a hermaphrodite carrying a wild orchid.

Saturday night, I was out waiting for a movie with kittenpants and triadruid, and in the Culver's Custard, where we were joyously partaking of some sundaes, it came to pass that someone said something about the Blues Brothers movie. And kittenpants says, "We should go on a mission from God. Road trip, mission from God. It's a great idea."

Okay, but how does one get a mission from God? Where would we go? What would we do? According to kittenpants, in order to qualify as a Mission From God Road Trip, you have to have a ridiculous yet worthwhile charitable goal. There might be other qualifications, but I'm not sure. I've never been on a mission from God, you know.

But apparently now is the time: This is my horoscope from Free Will Astrology for the week:
"LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I was sitting in San Francisco's Cafe Gratitude, meditating on your horoscope. In my notebook I'd doodled a giant hand reaching down to earth from the clouds. It was holding a silver platter that bore a book whose title was "Fresh Instructions." This gift was being offered to a half-lion, half-human creature that represented you. Shortly after I finished this drawing, a woman came through the front door of the restaurant and sat at a nearby table. Her t-shirt had a message that was the perfect caption for the image I'd made: "Maybe God has bigger plans for you than you have for yourself."

So, Internet, got any suggestions/divinations/requirements?

EDIT: fionnabhar reminds me of the other aspect of this question, which we did address at the time, but which I neglected to document: Which god? We've got an absolute load of gods for the household, and that's not even counting gods we might agree to hire out to. I'm keeping my brain open.

It's not all crap over here today, though. For example, I'm on track with Rob Breszny's Leo horoscope for this week. Of course, I've been doing this for a number of years larger than my shoe size, but hey. It's nice to get some backup every once in a while.

LEO:
This would be an excellent time for you to create your own personal religion, complete with rituals, prayers, and divinities that fit your precise needs. Feel free to borrow extensively from various spiritual traditions, of course, but make sure you give each belief or practice your own unique twist. And please include a few idiosyncratic touches that have never before been a part of any organized faith, like a holy day commemorating your first sexual experience or a sacred object obtained from a toy store or pawn shop or a rousing hymn adopted from an old Nirvana song.