But the good news is, I'm apparently not going to hell

[featherynscale]

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Can you name ten different beer brands but none of the Ten Commandments? That's one of 25 signs that you will ultimately go to hell, according to divinity professor Jacob Pinewood, quoted in the *Weekly World News.* Here are other behaviors that may cause you eternal damnation: using the F word more than once a day; coveting your neighbor's household appliances; watching five consecutive hours of TV; invoking the Lord's name in vain when you stub your toe; and mentally undressing any person who would be bad for you to get naked with. Luckily for you, Leo, you're now in an astrological phase when engaging in the above actions will *not* earn you a trip to the infernal regions. That's because you're in an unprecedented grace period when you have slack to burn. If I were you, though, I'd use my karmic credit more constructively than simply getting away with naughty things.

Comments

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

I covet your Cuisinart, by the way.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

That's no cuisinart, lady.

Keep in mind...

[wildnsquirrelly.livejournal.com]

You can only use it once, so don't go overboard.

Reactions (multi-part)

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

Reaction, part 1

Aieeeee! Weekly World News!!!!!!!!!

*runs screaming*

Reaction, part 2

Awesome. Check, check, checkity-check.

Re: Reactions (multi-part)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

We love the WWN. I occasionally harbor a desire to go to work for them. I could totally write that stuff. :)