Brakes and drama

[featherynscale]

Glory effing hallelujah, I have brakes that work again. opaljax came over with tools, and we did stand out in the bitter cold for far longer than one would think, and now I have nice new ceramic pads, and opaljax has a nice bottle of polish vodka, and all is right with the world.

There's behind-the-scenes drama, though, there always is. Mom called yesterday while I was on the way to the auto parts store, and I foolishly divulged that the car was in need of repair, and that I and a friend were going to do said repairs. Mom was wary of this, but willing to allow it to pass. However, Grandma was not. Some time while Jax and I were actually working on the problem last night, Grandma called and left a plaintive message expressing that she would send me money to get my brakes fixed, and that under no circumstances should I, or any other person with a vagina, ever work on a car.

I didn't get the voicemail until this morning, so, dutifully, and also stupidly, I called her to say that the job was already done and she didn't need to worry about it. She informed me that even though it might seem like a simple job, there was no way that it actually could be simple, that I probably only thought it was simple because I couldn't understand it, and in any case I would ruin my health doing these things. She then launched into a twenty minute exhortation to the Lord God of the Israelites to make it so I would have to move back to the Family Homestead where I could be properly taken care of. Creeped me right out.

And she'll probably send me the money anyway. I have made a habit of sending donations in the amount of her gifts to organizations like Planned Parenthood, or HRC, or PFLAG, and that sort of thing. That's probably a violation of some sort of hospitality rule, but it makes me feel a lot better.

Comments

Re: Not your grandmother's Vagina, any more. ;-)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Honey, if your momma thinks you're gay, I think we can round up a lot of ladies to say differently.

Also, my vagina is not an exit door, particularly. (Let's see how many times I can say vagina today!)

vagina pride

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

or at least Gladys Speigelman.

my mom is still kinda oimpressed I can drive an manaul transmission and don't wrap tampons in five inches of tissue paper when disposing of them.

(actually i do now. Scott was a pagan boy and i didn't mind him seeing my Wise Blood. Aaron is not pagan, so my first thought waas 'gotta be more discreet about the Sacred Inconvenience now.' isn't that too weird?)

hey, I saw a great picture of that damn Arkansas family with 17 children and the captionwas "A vagina is not a clown car." I think 'uterus' is more accurate, and certainly funnier to say (try it now), but there's something that really freaks me about my vagina as an exit door.

Re: vagina pride

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

is not pagan, so my first thought waas 'gotta be more discreet about the Sacred Inconvenience now.'

That is pretty weird. I figure if you're going to go looking in the trash, you deserve to find whatever's in there.

Re: vagina pride

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

...and if you're emptying the trash by hand, as I usually do, you've no right to get upset when you get a handful of used tampon.

Re: vagina pride

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Seriously. That's why the gods gave us trash bags. Grab the top of the bag, twist, tie, and you never have to directly encounter the contents of the bag.

I am very big on the concept of keeping out of the trash. Damned unsanitary.

Emptying the trash.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Ah, but see, I empty the trash cans here at work every day, whether they're nearly full or nearly empty. If I had to change every trash bag that had anything in it, the 5-minute task would be a 15-minute task.

Then again, having been Raised By Lesbians(TM), I don't think used tampons are that icky. *shrug*

Re: Raised By Lesbians(TM)

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

That so cries out for an icon. But I have no idea what it would be OF...

Re: Raised By Lesbians(TM)

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's easy: two or three women discovering a foundling in the woods.

The challenge would be to somehow depict this scene within 100x100 pixels.