Brakes and drama

[featherynscale]

Glory effing hallelujah, I have brakes that work again. opaljax came over with tools, and we did stand out in the bitter cold for far longer than one would think, and now I have nice new ceramic pads, and opaljax has a nice bottle of polish vodka, and all is right with the world.

There's behind-the-scenes drama, though, there always is. Mom called yesterday while I was on the way to the auto parts store, and I foolishly divulged that the car was in need of repair, and that I and a friend were going to do said repairs. Mom was wary of this, but willing to allow it to pass. However, Grandma was not. Some time while Jax and I were actually working on the problem last night, Grandma called and left a plaintive message expressing that she would send me money to get my brakes fixed, and that under no circumstances should I, or any other person with a vagina, ever work on a car.

I didn't get the voicemail until this morning, so, dutifully, and also stupidly, I called her to say that the job was already done and she didn't need to worry about it. She informed me that even though it might seem like a simple job, there was no way that it actually could be simple, that I probably only thought it was simple because I couldn't understand it, and in any case I would ruin my health doing these things. She then launched into a twenty minute exhortation to the Lord God of the Israelites to make it so I would have to move back to the Family Homestead where I could be properly taken care of. Creeped me right out.

And she'll probably send me the money anyway. I have made a habit of sending donations in the amount of her gifts to organizations like Planned Parenthood, or HRC, or PFLAG, and that sort of thing. That's probably a violation of some sort of hospitality rule, but it makes me feel a lot better.

Comments

Not your grandmother's Vagina, any more. ;-)

[teross50.livejournal.com]

Normal American family; "The Myth" out in hard back, just in time for Christmas.

My mother does the opposite, if you be a boy, and you cook, or sew, or Oh Gods, do laundry, then you must be gay!. Of course she is the died in the wool Catholic, who told me , that "They" got it all wrong, There was a Goddess, she slept with Lucifer, and that is the real reason God said, "Lucifer, you can go to Hell!" Of course my Mother is God's third major girlfriend. The other two were Mary, and Annum,. from Chinese mythology. ;-)

Perhaps you should find the HBO taping of Whoopee’s, last stand up. Or the one woman show called "Vagina" to help grandma understand, The vagina can do more than a sperm repository and baby exit, these days?

Re: Not your grandmother's Vagina, any more. ;-)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Honey, if your momma thinks you're gay, I think we can round up a lot of ladies to say differently.

Also, my vagina is not an exit door, particularly. (Let's see how many times I can say vagina today!)

vagina pride

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

or at least Gladys Speigelman.

my mom is still kinda oimpressed I can drive an manaul transmission and don't wrap tampons in five inches of tissue paper when disposing of them.

(actually i do now. Scott was a pagan boy and i didn't mind him seeing my Wise Blood. Aaron is not pagan, so my first thought waas 'gotta be more discreet about the Sacred Inconvenience now.' isn't that too weird?)

hey, I saw a great picture of that damn Arkansas family with 17 children and the captionwas "A vagina is not a clown car." I think 'uterus' is more accurate, and certainly funnier to say (try it now), but there's something that really freaks me about my vagina as an exit door.

Re: vagina pride

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

is not pagan, so my first thought waas 'gotta be more discreet about the Sacred Inconvenience now.'

That is pretty weird. I figure if you're going to go looking in the trash, you deserve to find whatever's in there.

Re: vagina pride

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

...and if you're emptying the trash by hand, as I usually do, you've no right to get upset when you get a handful of used tampon.

Re: vagina pride

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Seriously. That's why the gods gave us trash bags. Grab the top of the bag, twist, tie, and you never have to directly encounter the contents of the bag.

I am very big on the concept of keeping out of the trash. Damned unsanitary.

Emptying the trash.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Ah, but see, I empty the trash cans here at work every day, whether they're nearly full or nearly empty. If I had to change every trash bag that had anything in it, the 5-minute task would be a 15-minute task.

Then again, having been Raised By Lesbians(TM), I don't think used tampons are that icky. *shrug*

Re: Raised By Lesbians(TM)

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

That so cries out for an icon. But I have no idea what it would be OF...

Re: Raised By Lesbians(TM)

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's easy: two or three women discovering a foundling in the woods.

The challenge would be to somehow depict this scene within 100x100 pixels.