Snot and science!

[featherynscale]

I don't usually like to journal about bodily functions other than the occasional declaration that I have become a plague zombie, which I think is necessary because it lets you know why I haven't been journalling and because it alerts people to the possible necessity to keep weaponry on hand in case my brain runs out my ears and I decide to go visiting. Anyway. I don't usually go there, but this is kinda neat.

I have been having sinus congestion From Hell for the last three days. Headache, pressure, can't breathe out of either nostril, etc. I tried, in chronological order, ignoring it, taking allergy meds, drinking hot tea, taking the pseudo-sudafed that I can tolerate, and finally in an act of desperation, using the neti pot** this morning. None of this seemed to make much of a dent in the impenetrable fortress of snot I've got going on here.

Then, this morning, I went to the chiropractor. He said, "How are you?". I said, "Snotty." He said, "I have this clever machine, with which I can do (cue mad scientist voice)ELECTRO-ACUPUNCTURE!(/mad scientist voice) I could use it on your sinuses, and the world would be saved!" (Okay, it didn't really happen exactly like that, but as chronarchy tells us today, participating in mythic drama gives our lives meaning.)

Now, I do not Do Well with electricity. I sometimes think that in a very game-balancing way, I get to take half damage from heat and acid only because I take double damage from cold and electricity. I burned out a nerve in a nerve conduction test. Oh yes. Small current, permanent damage. (Alas, Nikola Tesla, we could never be together, for although I find you fascinating, I am afraid to visit you in the lab. Also, you have an unhealthy relationship with pigeons. But I digress.) But I'm thinking, how bad could it be? If it makes me able to breathe, it might be worth it. Yes! I will submit to this mad science, in the name of oxygen!

So I got zapped with an electrode near my eyebrows, on each side of the base of my nose, and on each hand, between the finger and the thumb. It was one of the weirder things I have ever experienced, but the doc assured me that in 2-4 hours, my sinuses would totally drain. And lo, it has come to pass! I have gained some small burn marks, but lost approximately 8 gallons of snot. I consider it a good trade.

** When zylch was in the tattoo parlor the other day, and we were trying to keep her amused, one of the other artists was extolling the virtue of the neti pot. zylch had not heard the beginning of the discussion, so missed the critical noun "neti pot", but when the fellow said, "It's amazing how much stuff is up your nose", she was able to jump right in with, "Are you talking about neti pots? I've never used one, but I recognize them from that statement." And it's true. Use a neti pot. You will, in fact, be amazed at how much stuff is up your nose.

Comments

[jtigermoon.livejournal.com]

I love seeing my chiropractor when I don't feel good. I usually get admonished for not coming to see him when I don't feel good. I've not had the electricity thing done but the man has amazing hands. My sinuses love him when they are gooky.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mentioned the snottiness because I remembered that the chiropractor I had back in the old country would do some sort of odd sinus-draining thing to the back of my neck, and I was hoping I could get some of that in. Dr. Duke is the technomancer of chiropractors, though. He has a machine for everything. It's amazing.

[jtigermoon.livejournal.com]

Mine has a fun little electricity gun but I've only had that a couple of times. It was when I strained a shoulder muscle climbing. It was a fun little toy that felt really weird if he used after putting biofreeze on my shoulder. Supper tingly. Gee that almost sounds sexual.

[leiandra.livejournal.com]

biofreeze ROCKS!

My chiro gave me a peppermint stick (lip balm tube o' goodness)that works better than Tylenol ever dared to on headaches.