Snot and science!

[featherynscale]

I don't usually like to journal about bodily functions other than the occasional declaration that I have become a plague zombie, which I think is necessary because it lets you know why I haven't been journalling and because it alerts people to the possible necessity to keep weaponry on hand in case my brain runs out my ears and I decide to go visiting. Anyway. I don't usually go there, but this is kinda neat.

I have been having sinus congestion From Hell for the last three days. Headache, pressure, can't breathe out of either nostril, etc. I tried, in chronological order, ignoring it, taking allergy meds, drinking hot tea, taking the pseudo-sudafed that I can tolerate, and finally in an act of desperation, using the neti pot** this morning. None of this seemed to make much of a dent in the impenetrable fortress of snot I've got going on here.

Then, this morning, I went to the chiropractor. He said, "How are you?". I said, "Snotty." He said, "I have this clever machine, with which I can do (cue mad scientist voice)ELECTRO-ACUPUNCTURE!(/mad scientist voice) I could use it on your sinuses, and the world would be saved!" (Okay, it didn't really happen exactly like that, but as chronarchy tells us today, participating in mythic drama gives our lives meaning.)

Now, I do not Do Well with electricity. I sometimes think that in a very game-balancing way, I get to take half damage from heat and acid only because I take double damage from cold and electricity. I burned out a nerve in a nerve conduction test. Oh yes. Small current, permanent damage. (Alas, Nikola Tesla, we could never be together, for although I find you fascinating, I am afraid to visit you in the lab. Also, you have an unhealthy relationship with pigeons. But I digress.) But I'm thinking, how bad could it be? If it makes me able to breathe, it might be worth it. Yes! I will submit to this mad science, in the name of oxygen!

So I got zapped with an electrode near my eyebrows, on each side of the base of my nose, and on each hand, between the finger and the thumb. It was one of the weirder things I have ever experienced, but the doc assured me that in 2-4 hours, my sinuses would totally drain. And lo, it has come to pass! I have gained some small burn marks, but lost approximately 8 gallons of snot. I consider it a good trade.

** When zylch was in the tattoo parlor the other day, and we were trying to keep her amused, one of the other artists was extolling the virtue of the neti pot. zylch had not heard the beginning of the discussion, so missed the critical noun "neti pot", but when the fellow said, "It's amazing how much stuff is up your nose", she was able to jump right in with, "Are you talking about neti pots? I've never used one, but I recognize them from that statement." And it's true. Use a neti pot. You will, in fact, be amazed at how much stuff is up your nose.

Comments

mythic drama

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

Wow, you linked dress shoes to snot in only one move!

Of course I'm curious about how this electro-acupuncture works..... and whether your lost snot now lives independently of you.

Re: mythic drama

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I have no idea how it works - but it works. Magic, I tell you. :)

I'm not worried about the snot taking on a life of its own. I'm taking precautions against this by discarding snotty tissues in a variety of locations, so that in case it does decide to get animate, it will take it a while to re-form into anything large enough to do more than stick to the bottom of a shoe.

[jtigermoon.livejournal.com]

I love seeing my chiropractor when I don't feel good. I usually get admonished for not coming to see him when I don't feel good. I've not had the electricity thing done but the man has amazing hands. My sinuses love him when they are gooky.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I mentioned the snottiness because I remembered that the chiropractor I had back in the old country would do some sort of odd sinus-draining thing to the back of my neck, and I was hoping I could get some of that in. Dr. Duke is the technomancer of chiropractors, though. He has a machine for everything. It's amazing.

[jtigermoon.livejournal.com]

Mine has a fun little electricity gun but I've only had that a couple of times. It was when I strained a shoulder muscle climbing. It was a fun little toy that felt really weird if he used after putting biofreeze on my shoulder. Supper tingly. Gee that almost sounds sexual.

[leiandra.livejournal.com]

biofreeze ROCKS!

My chiro gave me a peppermint stick (lip balm tube o' goodness)that works better than Tylenol ever dared to on headaches.

[revolution-grrl.livejournal.com]

Wow, that sounds wonderfully satisfying!

[infintysquared.livejournal.com]

I use a Neti pot whenever my sinuses start to gunk. It's a nifty contraption, and I got the chance to explain it to the eleven-year-old spunky girl of the house yesterday. She was alternately fascinated and disgusted, which is an appropriate reaction from a bright and open-minded but still young American female, methinks.

Note to the curious: Do NOT attempt to DIY by just pouring warm water up your nose. It MUST be saline, or else it will burn like hell.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Do NOT attempt to DIY by just pouring warm water up your nose.

Oh yes. Salt is a must. I learned that very soon after we acquired the neti pot.

[peleflower.livejournal.com]

Oh lordy - and don't put too much of anything else. I had a TERRIBLE experience with too much goldenseal...it dyed my face yellow during the pouring of the Neti and the subsequent drainage. Ugh. Explain that to your coworkers!!!

[daneya.livejournal.com]

After my last car accident, my chiropractor/acupuncturist would place needles on each hand where you described, and also on the crown of my head; same result. Of course, when she told me that needles would clear my sinuses, I was very skeptical (living a magical life doesn't mean I buy everything the first time I hear it), but what can I say, it worked better than any OTC drug I ever took, and didn't make me groggy or hyper. There have been days this winter when I have heartily missed her.

Daneya

[zylch.livejournal.com]

I would much rather be electrocuted than have a nasal douche/self-waterboarding experience.

Just sayin'.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Funny how our lexicon changes...I described it as 'waterboarding myself' this morning.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

And think, I got to do both in the same day. :)

I can't believe I've never mentioned this to you until now

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

When I was in P.C., wildnsquirrelly taught me a neat trick for relieving mild to moderate sinus pressure/headache. You can do it to yourself but it is more effective to have someone else do it to/for you. With you standing/sitting however you are comfortable (I sit myself because the relief of the pressure makes me wobbly for a few minutes afterwards), and the other person (operator, for reference) facing you, the operator:

1)Grasps the back of each ear towards the top and pulls gently but firmly upwards, hold for 10-15 seconds. Release.

2)Grasps the back of each ear in the middle and pulls gently but firmly towards the back of your head, hold for 10-15 seconds. Release.

3)Grasps the top of each ear and pulls gently but firmly downwards, hold for 10-15 seconds. Release.

4)Grasps the back of each ear in the middle and pulls gently but firmly forwards, hold for 10-15 seconds. Release.

He did this several times on me to good effect, and had me do it for him as well. I never did find out if this was something he knew when you guys were together, or something he picked up in the interval, either in the army or studying M.T.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

hmm.. a fortress of SNOT. Sounds impenitrable just by virtue of the EWWW factor!

[sagamockingbird.livejournal.com]

Man, I so need to have this done. My sinuses have felt like there is a load of concrete stuck there for two weeks!

[dramaticaddict.livejournal.com]

ok, kinda cool and kinda gross... anyway, i totally forgot and missed the queer gods ritual, so, can you sum it up for me in an email(all the cool parts, and any info I might want/need)? id love you forever....