Indulge my vulgar curiosity, if you would...

[featherynscale]

I will be the first to admit that my grasp of the rules about socialization, and especially those about romantic/sexual/marital relationships is not very solid. So I was hoping that you lot could give me some sort of feeling for the question in my brain today. The question has to do with how to deal with the ex-whatever of someone who is your friend. If you are friends with someone, and they break it off with a person they are dating/sleeping with/married to/whatever, is it okay for you to pursue their ex? If you are the ex-whatever of someone, are you offended if they date/sleep with/marry/whatever someone else?

I'm not asking this because I'm interested in pursuing anybody's ex. I'm not interested in how I should be relating to the people who are currently hooked up with any of my exes. I'm not passing judgment on anybody's behavior, or inviting others to do so. I'm just curious, and I don't know what people percieve the rules to be on the thing. Please help?

[Poll #940484]

Comments

Exes need love too.

[wildnsquirrelly.livejournal.com]

I gave as many of those questions as possible a bona fide 'Yeah, sure'. Of course, if you really concerned about anyone being hurt or just generally feeling awkward there'll be tons of communication involved (duh), but I'd even go so far as to say that getting together with the ex of a good friend that ended that relationship poorly might be Ok if it's more physical than anything else. But then, I'm weird & detached about that stuff. And since I suspect it'll prompt you to ask if I think it's less Ok to see a friend's ex if there's more of an emotional attachment involved, I'd say Yes. Clarification: IMHO, if it's just sex that's Ok. If it's a deeper, more emotional relationship, that's less Ok.

But then, to agree with everyone else, these things need to be decided on a case-by-case basis.