Indulge my vulgar curiosity, if you would...

[featherynscale]

I will be the first to admit that my grasp of the rules about socialization, and especially those about romantic/sexual/marital relationships is not very solid. So I was hoping that you lot could give me some sort of feeling for the question in my brain today. The question has to do with how to deal with the ex-whatever of someone who is your friend. If you are friends with someone, and they break it off with a person they are dating/sleeping with/married to/whatever, is it okay for you to pursue their ex? If you are the ex-whatever of someone, are you offended if they date/sleep with/marry/whatever someone else?

I'm not asking this because I'm interested in pursuing anybody's ex. I'm not interested in how I should be relating to the people who are currently hooked up with any of my exes. I'm not passing judgment on anybody's behavior, or inviting others to do so. I'm just curious, and I don't know what people percieve the rules to be on the thing. Please help?

[Poll #940484]

Comments

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

"Is it okay to date your friend's ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?"
Is it okay to date a friend's ex-husband or ex-wife, following a divorce?

It depends on whether or not your friend is over said ex or not. If you guys are close enough, just ask if they mind.

"In considering your answer to the first question, does it matter how the relationship ended?"

I said yes because if they person was dumped chances of them not being over said ex are greater.

"At what point might it be okay to date your friend's ex-spouse?"

I personally would not date them until everything legal was taken care of because I am aware of the legalities that could come into play and that just ain't worth it. If everything was legal and my friend was still not over them I would not go for them 'til my friend was cool with everything. However, I morally see no harm if both parties have decided it's over and your friend is cool with you dating them you doing so before it is legal. Just not the wisest way to go about it when it comes to the law.

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

I personally would not date them until everything legal was taken care of

And I guess this whole discussion is moot regarding cerrunos and I due to the fact that I was not friends with his ex. ;-p

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

huh?

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

I dated D before his divorce was final... never mind. :-)

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

Oh, ok. Yes not knowing the ex makes things a lot easier... Unless kids are involved, which in your case they weren't... So, um, friend or not, I still would wait for the legal part, but thanks to the line of work I am in I only get to see the horrible parts of what happens when one trusts another's word that turns out to be false...