Indulge my vulgar curiosity, if you would...

[featherynscale]

I will be the first to admit that my grasp of the rules about socialization, and especially those about romantic/sexual/marital relationships is not very solid. So I was hoping that you lot could give me some sort of feeling for the question in my brain today. The question has to do with how to deal with the ex-whatever of someone who is your friend. If you are friends with someone, and they break it off with a person they are dating/sleeping with/married to/whatever, is it okay for you to pursue their ex? If you are the ex-whatever of someone, are you offended if they date/sleep with/marry/whatever someone else?

I'm not asking this because I'm interested in pursuing anybody's ex. I'm not interested in how I should be relating to the people who are currently hooked up with any of my exes. I'm not passing judgment on anybody's behavior, or inviting others to do so. I'm just curious, and I don't know what people percieve the rules to be on the thing. Please help?

[Poll #940484]

Comments

[rio-luna.livejournal.com]

as long as enough time has elapsed. which in some cases should be years and in some a week will do. but no 'vulturing' over the dying relationship, dat's tacky (and happens all too often...)

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Unsurprisingly, I pretty much said "maybe" all the way through, except with widows/widowers because the social dynamic there is a little different. Most of the time, there's some way that it might be acceptable to date your friend's ex, but the circumstances of such vary so wildly from person to person that I can't really fathom how to generalize it. Asking the friend is good. Not vulturing is a must. Waiting until they are 'over' the person, or at least the breakup is no longer messy and complex, is always a good idea.