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featherynscaleTemporary Anonymous Zone.
Make sekrit comments here, please. You will not be investigated (by me, anyway).
(Hint: Log Out First.)
Make sekrit comments here, please. You will not be investigated (by me, anyway).
(Hint: Log Out First.)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 05:00 pm (UTC)But I am probably not being all that secret anymore ;-)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 05:10 pm (UTC)You can also click on the radio button to post anonymous
Date: 2005-11-11 05:03 pm (UTC)Re: You can also click on the radio button to post anonymous
Date: 2005-11-11 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 05:06 pm (UTC)"No, Lister. What seperates us from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals. "
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 10:22 pm (UTC)I can't understand
Date: 2005-11-11 05:07 pm (UTC)Why is there so much pain? Why do we hurt ourselves? Why do we hurt others?
Re: I can't understand
Date: 2005-11-11 05:24 pm (UTC)I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-11 05:24 pm (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-11 06:26 pm (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-11 08:18 pm (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-11 08:41 pm (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-14 03:17 am (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-14 03:19 am (UTC)Of course, silly. But the same rules apply. You have to tell us who you are first.
Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-15 07:59 am (UTC)Re: I would like the opportunity
Date: 2005-11-15 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 06:11 pm (UTC)His sister had another one, she paid it for a lime.
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, she called the doctor, woke him up,
And said, "DOCTOR!
ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say, DOCTOR,
to relieve this belly ache?
I say, DOCTOR,
ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say, DOCTOR,
to relieve this belly ache?"
"Now let me get this straight ",
Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
Put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
Put the lime in the coconut, you called your doctor, woke him up,
And say, 'DOCTOR,
ain't there nothing I can take,
I say, DOCTOR,
to relieve this belly ache?
I say, DOCTOR, doctor,
ain't there nothin' I can take,
I say, DOCTOR, dooooctor,
to relieve this belly ache?'
Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together,
Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better,
Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning
Woo woo woo woo woo
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 08:40 pm (UTC)"Oxygen's for losers!" - Dave Lister
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 09:43 pm (UTC)And I'm not just being quip. In my first relationship, I went with monogamy b/c it's the cultural default right now and spent two years basically forcing myself to care about what my partner was doing and having to put up with him caring about what I was doing in a way that felt so unnatural to me.
I am never doing that again. And don't tell me I wasn't really in love. I've been with my second boyfriend for nearly seven years and... well I hate mushy stuff but imagine a bunch of it here because he often makes me want to say things that I'm way to embarrassed to write down. I've also been dating another very nice boy for a year now.
Our other past relationships have never been harmful to our relationship. There has been nothing any weirder than my mono friends have been through with there mono relationships. And we're way more honest with each other than most of them in general, and not just b/c many of them cheat, just more open in general.
If mono feels right to you, go ahead and do it. But don't walk around with the assumption that poly people are making this weird effort. For at least some of us, it's what feels natural.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-17 05:38 pm (UTC):-)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 09:16 pm (UTC)How come...
Date: 2005-11-11 09:33 pm (UTC)...if you like brussel sprouts and I don't like brussel sprouts, we assume we're just interpreting our senses differently, but no one does that with vision?
Re: How come...
Date: 2005-11-11 10:26 pm (UTC)And, I do that with vision. Me and generations of German psychologists, baby.
Re: How come...
Date: 2005-11-11 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 10:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 09:05 am (UTC)That sucks;
Date: 2005-11-11 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 10:20 pm (UTC)Does she know you are not happy? Can you not decide on rules that both of you can play by?
(Also, I said that I would not try to find out who posted what, and I stand by that, but there's a list of people that I really hope you aren't...) :(
no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 09:02 am (UTC)It is of course a bit more complex that what I stated first.
I'm also still very much in love with her and really, really don't want to live without her. She told me for many years that we could be polyamorous and that she just needed adjustment time. Or I woulid try something minor and there would be some reason that it was just the wrong time.
Finally, I said that I was done with waiting and I needed to be able to form other relationships as well as keep my relationship with her. Me insisting that I needed to do this put her into the psych ward rather than killing herself.
We tried couples counseling. One fellow wrote a paper on what we were going through. It's nice to be interesting but it didn't fix our problem. We do communicate better now though. She says that she thought she could do poly but has determined that she can't and if I have to that means that she'll have to leave. She says that she won't kill herself but she would move away so that she doesn't have painful reminders.
I don't want to live my life without her but I don't know that I can live my life without expressing my love and affection for a few of the other people in my life. She doesn't want to live her life without me but can't cope with the continual feeling of abandonment if I love others. It's not a trust issue, it is the way that she defines life-commitment.
I'm trying things as monoamorously as possible for at least a year. She can tell that I'm in pain but what would solve my pain would put her in just as much pain. I am a bit stronger than she; proof being that I've not wanted to kill myself. Who knows what will happen when sometime next year I decide that I must love only her or I must express my feelings for others rather than keep them bottled up.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 02:13 pm (UTC)There are a lot of things that you can split the house on, but that's not often one of them. :(
No useful advice, just commiseration.
no subject
Date: 2005-11-20 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-11 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 01:26 am (UTC)Enough to buy chocolate ice cream from the store at 2 a.m. because she wants it?
(no offence, featherynscale!)
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Date: 2005-11-12 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-12 02:28 pm (UTC)(Different Poster)
Date: 2005-11-12 08:44 am (UTC)Re: (Different Poster)
Date: 2005-11-12 02:15 pm (UTC)I don't think I've ever taken four hours to get ready for anything that didn't require full stage makeup and a dresser, and even then, I'm not sure.
Goofball. :)
no subject
Date: 2005-11-14 03:29 am (UTC)