Wondrous Apparitions, Provided by Magicians.

*cries*

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Hey, it's a worthy festival. Feel free to strip-mine the cultural influence in this case.

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And how would I do that?

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You're kidding, right? It's cultural warfare. You declare it and then educate folks about it as if they really ought to have known before. Start small, man. You could say it's a cross-cultural tradition initiated by Prince Roger, common among moderns central county clans.

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*sigh*

That would require talking to people. I don't like most people enough to talk to them. I suppose I'll just have to cope with my involuntary steakless celibacy. Thanks for trying to motivate me, though.

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That attitude will never get you a steak and a blowjob, dear. Remind me to deliver you a swift kick if you're ever in close proximity.

XO

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fionnabhar.livejournal.com

Well, you know, a steak you can cook for yourself. The other is excessively gymnastic.

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Ooo, promise? *eager*

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Somebody should clue this poor man in about what he's asking for from me. I am not a kind person.

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pfft. Clues are for the weak.

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featherynscale.livejournal.com

This is why you rule.

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Aww, thank you!

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Right up until the point where

saffronhare kicks his ass, at which point he will be Zeta Dog on the totem pole.

greektoomey Seriously. You know not of whence you speak, when you encourage Saff to kick you into shape. She's not talking about the happy-fun way...

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Well, absent a clue (as is my wont), I'm guessing that it would not entail hospitalization, and that's good enough for me.

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I'm guessing that it would not entail hospitalization

Always, always, always negotiate terms beforehand.

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Love you, honey.

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No scarring (or other permanent physical marks), no blood, no hospitalization, and a safeword. Easy as pie!

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fionnabhar.livejournal.com

Those are your terms.

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Again, all that I have seen offered (or threatened, or promised) was a kick in my ass.

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I don't think you understand: you already agreed to it, by some definitions.

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Of course I did, and I stand by my words.

I'm puzzled by your reaction. I appreciate your concern for my welfare, but it intrigues me that you seem to feel so confidently that my mouth is writing a check my ass can't cash. I'm sure your assessment of

saffronhare's severity is fair, but I don't know what data you're using to assess me.

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I may be assigning you a familiarity of response to which you are unaccustomed or that I am not entitled to assume with you. We have a grand tradition locally called "Giving Each Other Shit". Your failure to negotiate terms before tacitly approving your ass-kicking by

saffronhare qualifies you for such a tradition.

Really, it's not *your* sturdiness that's in question. It's that we know the depths of resolve to which Saff will go to in the name of "teaching moments". Furniture fails that test, sometimes, when faced with an incoming student. She's willing to inflict damage on herself and others to get that point across, if needs be.

But mostly, we're just fucking with you. *grin*
Come on down to KC, please;

featherynscale will shield you with her body, if it comes to that.

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Although I may very well be unteachable, in which case it would be interesting (to the observer) to see exactly what measures

saffronhare would deem appropriate in the name of learning. I have a monolithically bad attitude, you see.

I am familiar with the GEOS tradition, if not the KC embellishments. In my experience, this has usually been practiced by those who would call themselves "friends," though, and I don't think we have been properly introduced. My name is Eli; how do you do? Don't mind if I add you to my LJ friendslist, I hope. (Consider that encouragement to stay the GEOS course.)

As mentioned in a subsequent thread, I plan to make the pilgrimage to your locale in August. I am sure that if it should be necessary, I will never have encountered a more pleasant aegis.

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I'm David.

I think what you're getting at is what I was trying (but obviously failing) to say in my last message; I had ascribed you a higher degree of 'friendliness' than you strictly deserved/were aware of, by simple virtue of seeing your name in several friends' journals and trading comments with you on occasion.

I don't post much, but you're absolutely welcome to add me if you so desire. I'll also do the reverse just so we stay on an even keel, as it were.

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featherynscale.livejournal.com

Oh no. Far be it from me to stand between a man and his masochism.

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Does that mean I can't use you as a shield if I get scared? *wibble*

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I thought we were just discussing a kick in the ass.

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featherynscale.livejournal.com

The record shows "a swift kick". If I were you, I'd specify that it was to be a kick to the ass. It's difficult to put a man in the hospital with a kick to the ass, unless it's a kick up the ass, which is a different matter entirely. In the interest of disclosure, Saff takes a size 7 boot. But I'm reasonably sure that if a boot up the ass were intended, she'd have said so.

Go boldly forward, young man.

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