If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.

You know it's good when people you haven't seen in years still have you on their list of people to call when they want to pull a stupendously oversized prank and need help.

The phone rings yesterday evening. kittenpants picks it up, and answers with the Unofficial EHQ Phone Greeting (tm), 'Purple monkeys?'. She cocks her head to the side and hands me the phone.

The voice on the other end of the line (which I eventually identified as D., my ex-boyfriend [more on naming conventions later]) says "Do you know anybody who has a truck big enough to transport a full-grown giraffe?"

I think for a moment. "No, not really. Do you have a full-grown giraffe? And where are you taking it?"

"Yeah, I've got the giraffe all lined up. I just need a way to move it. It's going to (insert name of military base here). I'm going to tether it outside (insert name of officer)'s house. I'm going to put a hat on it, say it's a new recruit. You know, with that Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing, they'll let anybody in."

"I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure that every time I've ever seen a giraffe, I haven't had to ask. I know."

"That's what you think. Giraffes can be very sneaky."

The conversation ended with me passing on a suggestion from kittenpants that he rent a truck from Home Depot. This would have been enough, but he called me back later in the evening to say that he had a driver for the truck and was going to call Home Despot and see about a truck this morning. I promised to send some money to help cover the cost of the truck, in return for pictures. He promised pics, and that he would send the story to Skippy.

All is well in the world, at least for a moment.

If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.

You know it's good when people you haven't seen in years still have you on their list of people to call when they want to pull a stupendously oversized prank and need help.

The phone rings yesterday evening. kittenpants picks it up, and answers with the Unofficial EHQ Phone Greeting (tm), 'Purple monkeys?'. She cocks her head to the side and hands me the phone.

The voice on the other end of the line (which I eventually identified as D., my ex-boyfriend [more on naming conventions later]) says "Do you know anybody who has a truck big enough to transport a full-grown giraffe?"

I think for a moment. "No, not really. Do you have a full-grown giraffe? And where are you taking it?"

"Yeah, I've got the giraffe all lined up. I just need a way to move it. It's going to (insert name of military base here). I'm going to tether it outside (insert name of officer)'s house. I'm going to put a hat on it, say it's a new recruit. You know, with that Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing, they'll let anybody in."

"I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure that every time I've ever seen a giraffe, I haven't had to ask. I know."

"That's what you think. Giraffes can be very sneaky."

The conversation ended with me passing on a suggestion from kittenpants that he rent a truck from Home Depot. This would have been enough, but he called me back later in the evening to say that he had a driver for the truck and was going to call Home Despot and see about a truck this morning. I promised to send some money to help cover the cost of the truck, in return for pictures. He promised pics, and that he would send the story to Skippy.

All is well in the world, at least for a moment.

Naming conventions

Rule of my world: I can only manage one person with any given name in my life at a time. Therefore, if you move into my sphere, and you have a name which already belongs to someone in my sphere, I will ask you to give another name for yourself, and if you do not have one, I will assign you one. It's just easier this way.

Your name may change over time, as your presence, and the presence of others with your name in my world waxes or wanes. If you are given a new name, it will probably be your last name (ex. Simpson), or a screen name that you use (ex. Werebear), or something of that nature. But not always.

Example: The ex who called about the giraffe. His name is David. Which was good, when he was The David, but now I have triadruid who is The David. Hence, I resorted to another name for him - his mother once registered him for school as "Daven", quite accidentally, due to poor handwriting. He got to be that for a while in my world. But now, I spend a reasonable amount of time with druidevo, who is The Devin, which is pretty damned close. So I will need a new name for the other one, again. I'm thinking Octavio. It's got a hell of a ring to it, Octavio.

Naming conventions

Rule of my world: I can only manage one person with any given name in my life at a time. Therefore, if you move into my sphere, and you have a name which already belongs to someone in my sphere, I will ask you to give another name for yourself, and if you do not have one, I will assign you one. It's just easier this way.

Your name may change over time, as your presence, and the presence of others with your name in my world waxes or wanes. If you are given a new name, it will probably be your last name (ex. Simpson), or a screen name that you use (ex. Werebear), or something of that nature. But not always.

Example: The ex who called about the giraffe. His name is David. Which was good, when he was The David, but now I have triadruid who is The David. Hence, I resorted to another name for him - his mother once registered him for school as "Daven", quite accidentally, due to poor handwriting. He got to be that for a while in my world. But now, I spend a reasonable amount of time with druidevo, who is The Devin, which is pretty damned close. So I will need a new name for the other one, again. I'm thinking Octavio. It's got a hell of a ring to it, Octavio.