If you can't say something nice, say something surrealistic.

[featherynscale]

You know it's good when people you haven't seen in years still have you on their list of people to call when they want to pull a stupendously oversized prank and need help.

The phone rings yesterday evening. kittenpants picks it up, and answers with the Unofficial EHQ Phone Greeting (tm), 'Purple monkeys?'. She cocks her head to the side and hands me the phone.

The voice on the other end of the line (which I eventually identified as D., my ex-boyfriend [more on naming conventions later]) says "Do you know anybody who has a truck big enough to transport a full-grown giraffe?"

I think for a moment. "No, not really. Do you have a full-grown giraffe? And where are you taking it?"

"Yeah, I've got the giraffe all lined up. I just need a way to move it. It's going to (insert name of military base here). I'm going to tether it outside (insert name of officer)'s house. I'm going to put a hat on it, say it's a new recruit. You know, with that Don't Ask, Don't Tell thing, they'll let anybody in."

"I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure that every time I've ever seen a giraffe, I haven't had to ask. I know."

"That's what you think. Giraffes can be very sneaky."

The conversation ended with me passing on a suggestion from kittenpants that he rent a truck from Home Depot. This would have been enough, but he called me back later in the evening to say that he had a driver for the truck and was going to call Home Despot and see about a truck this morning. I promised to send some money to help cover the cost of the truck, in return for pictures. He promised pics, and that he would send the story to Skippy.

All is well in the world, at least for a moment.

Comments

Great plan...

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

Except that the hat might prove a bit tricky.

Re: Great plan...

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I didn't ask.

[silentreality.livejournal.com]

Keep me very much updated on this ;)

[sxypaganmom.livejournal.com]

i sooooo, have to see Pic's on this. Oh, the people i would have liked to have done something like this to in my day!! :)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

You're still alive - in my book that means it's still your day.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Once you have kids, it ceases to be your day and becomes your kids' day.

Totally Awesome

[orcjohn.livejournal.com]

Damn.. where can I get a giraffe? I know where to get Peacocks (and Peahens), Wallabys, and several forms of rare/exotic pheasants, but not giraffes. OH almost forgot Emu's, can't forget the Emus. If you're interested in Emu meat (or live peacocks/hens & emus) let me know. You'll have to provide your own truck and pay whatever the going rate on the birds is, but i know where to get them.