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featherynscale"My goal is to always come from a place of love...but sometimes you just have to break it down for a motherfucker." - RuPaul
Because I love you, I'm going to divulge a secret of the universe to you, one that is not taught or understood by many pagan or magical groups in the world. Like all such secrets, it's pretty damned simple, and yet still seems to elude a fair number of people, even people with a lot of letters after their names. Also, like all such secrets, it may not be a thing you're going to like, because knowledge of it places more of the burden of controlling your life and your fortunes squarely on your back.
So here it is:
For the most part, people are going to treat you in the way that you indicate you should be treated. If you act as if you are undeserving of notice, people will not notice you. If you act as if you are unworthy of friendship, people will avoid befriending you. If you act as if you are not a fully-functioning member of society, people will treat you as such.
On the other hand, if you act as if you are beautiful, people will line up to flirt with you. If you act as if you have your shit together, people will come to you for advice. If you act as if you have every right to do whatever it is that you are doing, people will get out of your way and let you do it.
Don't believe me? Try it. Try convincing yourself that you are something that you do not generally believe that you are, and then observe how people react to you. I think that you will find that for the most part, people take their cues on how to react to you from you - your words, your vocal tones, your body postures.
This has particular relevance to something I've been bugged about for the last few days, that being the perception by a significant portion of pagandom that non-pagans are automatically going to act like pagans are weird and icky as soon as they find out that the pagans are, well, pagans. I disagree. I think that, following from the above, if pagans act like paganism is a faith worthy of respect, and not something silly, strange, or shocking, that other people will generally follow along with this. I think that if you don't act as if nobody will understand you, you will find that a fair number of people do, in fact, understand you. And I think that if you don't go out of your way to shock people with your faith, that fewer people than you might expect to will find your faith shocking.
The problem here is this: in order to be accepted as respectable, serious, and dedicated, you have to stop acting like you're not those things. You have to give up your inclinations to shock people, to offend people, to throw your faith in their face just to get a reaction. And no, not everybody is going to accept you. This has nothing to do with your faith (although, yes, it can be a handy excuse) - there is not now and never was a person on this earth that everybody likes, not even Jesus, Jimmy Carter, or Mother Teresa. Some people are dicks. Sorry about that.
This has been a moment of Severity. Thanks for reading.
NOTE: As noted below, there are people who take this to mean that the victims of violence are to blame for the event. I believe that this is wrong - just as rude people are to blame for their own rudeness, violent people are responsible for their own violence. I do, however understand that there are violent people in the world, and will choose to present myself as if I were a poor target for violence, in accordance with the above.
Because I love you, I'm going to divulge a secret of the universe to you, one that is not taught or understood by many pagan or magical groups in the world. Like all such secrets, it's pretty damned simple, and yet still seems to elude a fair number of people, even people with a lot of letters after their names. Also, like all such secrets, it may not be a thing you're going to like, because knowledge of it places more of the burden of controlling your life and your fortunes squarely on your back.
So here it is:
For the most part, people are going to treat you in the way that you indicate you should be treated. If you act as if you are undeserving of notice, people will not notice you. If you act as if you are unworthy of friendship, people will avoid befriending you. If you act as if you are not a fully-functioning member of society, people will treat you as such.
On the other hand, if you act as if you are beautiful, people will line up to flirt with you. If you act as if you have your shit together, people will come to you for advice. If you act as if you have every right to do whatever it is that you are doing, people will get out of your way and let you do it.
Don't believe me? Try it. Try convincing yourself that you are something that you do not generally believe that you are, and then observe how people react to you. I think that you will find that for the most part, people take their cues on how to react to you from you - your words, your vocal tones, your body postures.
This has particular relevance to something I've been bugged about for the last few days, that being the perception by a significant portion of pagandom that non-pagans are automatically going to act like pagans are weird and icky as soon as they find out that the pagans are, well, pagans. I disagree. I think that, following from the above, if pagans act like paganism is a faith worthy of respect, and not something silly, strange, or shocking, that other people will generally follow along with this. I think that if you don't act as if nobody will understand you, you will find that a fair number of people do, in fact, understand you. And I think that if you don't go out of your way to shock people with your faith, that fewer people than you might expect to will find your faith shocking.
The problem here is this: in order to be accepted as respectable, serious, and dedicated, you have to stop acting like you're not those things. You have to give up your inclinations to shock people, to offend people, to throw your faith in their face just to get a reaction. And no, not everybody is going to accept you. This has nothing to do with your faith (although, yes, it can be a handy excuse) - there is not now and never was a person on this earth that everybody likes, not even Jesus, Jimmy Carter, or Mother Teresa. Some people are dicks. Sorry about that.
This has been a moment of Severity. Thanks for reading.
NOTE: As noted below, there are people who take this to mean that the victims of violence are to blame for the event. I believe that this is wrong - just as rude people are to blame for their own rudeness, violent people are responsible for their own violence. I do, however understand that there are violent people in the world, and will choose to present myself as if I were a poor target for violence, in accordance with the above.
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Re: perceived reality, from the Corkscrew of Mildness
Date: 2004-07-20 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-20 11:47 am (UTC)In a strict objective sense, one of the things that caused event B (the attack) to happen is event A (my flight). There are, of course, probably hundreds of other events that feed into event B, but regardless of all of those things, if event A does not occur, event B cannot occur. It is possible that if I don't fly to Seattle, my assailant will spend the evening beating and raping some other person (Event BB?) but I can't say that with certainty.
When you are talking about moral content of the events, you are right without reservation, it is in no way my fault that these things have occurred.
I'm just saying that it is possible for me to be part of the cause of an event without bearing any blame for the event.