I hate to do it, but it's gotta be done: Clothing.

[featherynscale]

Yesterday, I put on a perfectly reasonable pair of pants and they fell off. I had to steal a belt from another member of the household to make it to work without violating any public decency laws. This morning, when I got out of bed, I had to hold onto my pajama pants to keep them from falling off.

I'm going to have to go through my clothes and pare down to only stuff that actually fits me. This will probably trigger a spate of new clothes buying. Unfortunately, I have no idea what will look right on me anymore. I've tried to sort it out. I went to some of these fashion magazine sites and women's sites where they tell you how to dress for your figure. (And people, you know this is not normal behaviour.) Apparently, my figure is not a figure that other people have. You can be a circle, or a rectangle, or an hourglass, or a triangle point-up, but I'm more like a triangle point-down. I used to say that some people had an hourglass figure, but mine goes all day. Now I have to say something more like: some people have an hourglass figure, but I have a martini-glass figure.

Therefore, two questions:
1) Anybody local want/need some used clothing? I expect to have some large and extra-large mens and womens tops, and some pants in womens 12 and 14, and mens 32.
2) What the hell should I be shopping for now? What would you wear if you were built like me? Who else is built like me that I could look to? (Right now, the answer to that last question seems to be military honor guards and marvel superheroes. Neither of them have looks I can copy for work.)

Comments

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

I've long said that if I ever find the folk they use as a standard for sizing clothing, I will line them up and shoot them.

Oddly enough, if you can stand to do so, go to a really nice (read; too fucking expensive) clothing store, for example on the Plaza, and ask for a personal shopper to give you recommendations and try on stuff. Usually (of course, make sure of this first) this is a service that does not cost anything until and unless you actually buy things. It's fun to do and can be a really good education. Just go there dressed to the nine's (if you can in your clothing deprived state) so that they'll take you seriously.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

That's very clever. Have you ever done this?

[curlysquirrel.livejournal.com]

Never done it, but thought about it a lot... then the guilt comes in, and it never gets done... *sigh*... But it is a great idea.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yep. I went to oh-poo-can't-remember-the-name-of-the-store where the KXTR Symphony RadioThon used to be held, acted really posh-snooty and tried on stuff. It was a real education!

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Then I found this link:
http://www.imagetherapists.com/g/vip3.html?gclid=CObgsMid05ACFQlxOAodxEafXA

Interesting...

[closer-to-fine.livejournal.com]

From a "Dressing For Your Body Type" webpage:

Inverted Triangle Shape

Characterized by broad shoulders, a medium to full bust, average waist, narrow hips and shapely long legs. You've got great legs, and hips that allow you to wear those hip "enhancing" styles. You've also been blessed with breasts so you can show off the curves! Jamie Lee Curtis is a good example of a inverted triangle shape.
# High set in sleeves, such as raglan or dolman sleeves, visually narrow wide shoulders.
# Patch pockets balance wider shoulders.
# Try flared skirts to balance the wide shoulders or pants flared at the hemline.
# A low slung belt will help attract attention to the hips, balancing your figure.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Sweet. Why couldn't I find that?

Also, I fucking love Jamie Lee Curtis.

[curlysquirrel.livejournal.com]

So is Dolly Parton... I always thought she wore pads or breast implants.. nope, it's all her...

[starrthinks.livejournal.com]

For work, I'd go with button down collared shirts and basic slacks (that's me though) and do more entertaining stuff for daily wear. When trying on clothes I usually try tops on with both jeans and black slacks and try to buy what looks good with both. This way my tops can be for work or for day to day.

[starrthinks.livejournal.com]

Oh and good luck with the shopping.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think all I'm gonna have left in the pants area are three pairs of black slacks, 2 pairs of blue jeans and a pair of black BDUs. So whatever I'm buying, it'll be going with that, and not, say khaki. All my khakis are hugemongous on me now.

I'm a big fan of the button-down, too, whenever I can find button-downs that work for me. I apparently have more in the front than most anything's cut for, so button-downs are either tents, gappy, or on rare splendid occasion, both. :)

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I could use some pants, actually, unless somebody already has dibs. :)

[starrthinks.livejournal.com]

I have the same issue and have done well shopping for button downs at JC Penny. They have some that are wrinkle free (a huge plus considering how much I travel) and are cut nicely with a collar that lays back instead of up and buttons that stay together. The fabric is softer than most of the stiff button downs and there for can both cover the boobs and still not become tent like as it will naturally cling in toward (not on) the body.

I believe the brands I get there are Covington and Worthington. They are also usually affordable between 15 and 20 each.

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

I have a similar problem, and a similar shape...
Going shopping together could be scary.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't know. Sounds like fun to me. They probably wouldn't let us share a dressing room, though.

*grin*

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

We'll need a lookout.
-

Re: *grin*

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

The icon says it all. :)

Re: *grin*

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Aw, hell...that'd be fun enough that I'd drive up to be the lookout!

Re: *grin*

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

That would be fantastic!

Re: *grin*

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

You know, on an odd unoccupied weekend (if the planets ever align for such a rarity) I would LOVE to go shopping with a you guys!

[shahera5.livejournal.com]

I doubt it will help much with fashion ideas, but LandsEnd does have a figure model you can set up with your measurements and then try on clothes from their catalog to see how they look and which items will most closely fit your body. I actually ordered a pair of jeans from them (which they hemmed at no charge to the length I gave them) and, lo and behold, they pretty much fit. They're a little big where the model said they'd be big and more snug where it said they'd be snug. Accuracy is good.

[lilia-blackbear.livejournal.com]

I is size 12. I'd like to take a look at the pants; then I could be in your pants as well as your shoes.

I seriously doubt I could take a look at the tops, cause, you know, we are made completely different thereabouts.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

Hmm..
Okay yes I am thinking of Marvel Superheroes. Flared skirts (don't hit me.)
and skin-tight tops, very 40's.
All apologies, I think that'd look quite nice on you from the few pics I've seen :)

But there again I have no f'ing clue how even to dress myself so...