featherynscale | I love/hate science fiction.

So, I'm reading this book called Mockymen. It's not a good book. Let's leave aside for the moment the fact that the author took all that writing advice about showing, not telling, and decided it was so much crap. Let's also leave aside the fact that it appears to have plot enough for several unrelated novels, all jammed together in one short book (this feat largely being accomplished by taking out all the motivation and most of the transition between plot points).

Aside from that stuff, what I don't like about this book is that the main character (so far) is female, and the (apparently male) author has decided that it will make her a more realistic female character if she thinks about having a baby, and when would be the right time to have a baby, and why she and her partner haven't had a baby, and so on, about once every three pages.

Now, as you might be aware if you know me, or even if you read my journal regularly, I gave up trying to be female when I realized that a) it was sort of a crap game, and b) I was never going to be any good at it anyway. So I'm willing to believe that it's possible that women really do constantly think about having babies, and that's normal for the population. Therefore, I'm seeking further data. If you're a female-type person with female-type biology (or you used to be and/or used to have same), please enlighten me by making the clicky on the poll, below.

[Poll #1095206]

Current Mood: cynical

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

lexpendragon.livejournal.com

Without ovaries, it's still a very regular thought for me. Especially when I've noticed that those with sense enough to pause to think if they 'should' breed are greatly outnumbered by people who aren't bright enough to realize they did breed. I wish more people who would make good families (like you and yours) decided to do so, so the grandkids I hope to have one day aren't surrounded and outnumbered only by the grandkids of those who did breed.

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

See, in theory, I'm all for that. Clever, reasonable people should have babies, and ignorant, fanatical people shouldn't. Where it breaks down is that I can't in any way, shape or form, hack the idea of having a baby at all. I mean, if I were pregnant and unable to terminate the pregnancy, I'd shoot myself in the head. I would want to live through cancer, AIDS, nuclear holocaust, zombie apocalypse, whatever, but if I had to have a baby, I would shoot myself in the head. I don't even own a gun. This probably lets me out of the clever and reasonable camp, though, which means I'm not obligated.

From:

lexpendragon.livejournal.com

I don't know about that. You certainly seem to have genes I would want to see passed on, irrational phobia's aside.

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

I'd have to be an egg donor. And even then, kids, I'm pretty sure it's a bad play. I tend to think of myself as a beta-test that shouldn't go into production.

From:

lexpendragon.livejournal.com

There are some 'boot up' 'laptop' and 'putting you into production' jokes I'm going to skip over.

What makes you think you would make a bad parent?

You seem to be an upstanding person, and patient and understanding, and you already can work in a symbiotic fashion with others in your family, why would adding a miniature version of that be so drastically different? Those are all traits that could be passed down to a new generation without actually sharing any biology with them.

(For the record, I find it an interesting conversation, I'm not actually attempting to talk you into procreating.)

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

If you're still talking about genetics, I'm not exactly a case study for good genes. My family line has lupus, seventeen different types of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, two or three neurological disorders, and a host of other medical issues. Of course, that's probably true of most people, so skip that. Also, you may have noticed, I'm sort of a mutant. My proportions are er... funny, and my joints don't work in the same way most people's do. There also seems to be something amiss in the hormones area, but I'm not sure if that's heritable or not.

If you're talking about adopting, there's a whole different list of objections. I can't stand the sound of screaming children (or loudly playing children, or endlessly repeating verbalizing children for that matter). I'm about as caring and maternal as a block of wood. I have no problem allowing people to fail painfully if I think it will help them learn something. I'm not even really good at taking care of the dog. I can occasionally remember to water plants, but that's about the limit of it, and I'm only really successful with philodendrons and the like. I have trouble talking to children on a level that they can follow (I have the same problem talking to some adults). I would strangle someone in the public school system if I had to be any more involved with them than I am now (with several friends being teachers). I have very little empathy. I was a psych major in college because I wanted to go into research. (That last one alone should disqualify me.)

Convinced yet? :)

From:

lexpendragon.livejournal.com

Not really, but I understand the objections.

I still think that if you were to wake up and find you had a child, you're ability to think of someone else's needs in addition to your own and to allow others to learn at their own rate, and the bonus parents, would make for a pretty decent human being at the end of it all.

I know I'd be happy to hear that Siren and Phoenix Pendragon being able to visit their buddy Rincewind Triad out at Heartland some year in the future.

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

I still think that if I were to wake up and find that I had a child, I would shoot myself in the head. I'm guessing that would fuck with little Rincewind Triad. :-P

From:

triadruid.livejournal.com

I'm sorry, this was REALLY funny.

From:

lexpendragon.livejournal.com

Well, the 'wake up' part was meant to bypass the pregnancy bit I've read your phobia of...

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

It wouldn't help. It would be like waking up to find a cockroach crawling out of your mouth. You'd know it wasn't there anymore, but you'd also always have to know that it *was*, and that there wouldn't really be anything you could do to prevent it happening again.

From:

erl-queen.livejournal.com

I can't tell you how gratifying it is to see another 'female-type person' express such feelings, because I totally concur. And I think that might end up being one of the strangest things about me - even people I know who are total and utter freaks in every other way still seem to at least acknowledge a biological urge for children, and I don't even have that, and never have in 30 years. The idea of having a child horrifies me to my very core. And it's too bad, because I too would rather people like me breed than the majority of people who *are* breeding, but there you go...

From:

featherynscale.livejournal.com

We are unnatural monsters together! Actually, I suspect that this is not really that uncommon, but our culture has such a horror of it that most people don't come out and say it. We treasure our gender roles, you know?

From:

erl-queen.livejournal.com

Exactly.

At least these days I don't get asked about it very often. When I was married, it was awful, everyone wanted to know when we were going to procreate. Then it turned out my husband (who had said he didn't want kids either) secretly *did* want kids, and was waiting for me to "come around." One of the many reasons for the dissolution of said marriage.

Fortunately I am now with