Subconscious Theater Presents:
May. 16th, 2007 09:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
featherynscaleLast night I dreamed I was looking for a job, and I got an interview with a newspaper. The woman came to EHQ for the interview, which was odd, and worse, she didn't give any notice, just dropped by. This apparently happened while ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kittenpants was giving an art lesson, so the house was full of teens and tweens, and also while triadruid was facilitating a meeting of the Neighborhood Association, so those folks were all there, too. (Not that we have a Neighborhood Association, thank the gods.) Anyway. I'm trying to make tea for everyone, but there aren't any clean cups in the house, and even cups I pull out of the dishwasher turn out to still have teabags in them.
Somehow the interview goes well. They offer me a job as an editor, and the salary is unreasonably large. Even in dream brain, I knew there was something wrong with this. I ask the woman if the number is correct, because everybody knows there's no money in the newspaper business unless you own the paper. She tells me it's a very upscale paper, so we're well-sponsored, and that this will mean that I'll be printing a lot of stuff with a high-capitalism slant. I'm not really down with that, but hey, it's a lot of money, right? She tells me I'll also have to commute a few times a week to the paper's office, which is in Des Moines. That part doesn't sound so bad. Then, she asks me if I'm a vampire. I look at her funny for a while, and then say that I'm not. She makes it very clear that I will have to become one.
Somehow this all seems like a good idea. I go to Des Moines the next day to be hired, and presumably to become a vampire. Skip ahead a few days. I return to find that EHQ is empty. The house is, in fact, gone.iron_clad is there on the lot, though, and he tells me that my family has moved. I follow him to the new place. This is through what seems to be several miles of badlands (which, after waking up and thinking about it, seemed to be Blue River Road). The new house is two to three times the size of EHQ (which is already not a small house).
I go into the house, andkittenpants and triadruid are there. They tell me they'd hired iron_clad to do all the moving, and to decorate the house. My room is down the hall. I go there, and it's an office room. Apparently now we have our own offices. I start to put things away in a chest of drawers and they say, no, clothes go in your other room. So I go downstairs, to where they've indicated my other room is. This room has a bed in it, and some other bedroom furniture on dark greenish-brown walls and pale carpet. It is also filled with weaponry. There are swords on the walls, and a big round shield. In the corner, there is an umbrella stand full of polearms and spears. iron_clad has apparently picked all this stuff out for me.
I wake up with the reflection that newspaper editors are a lot like vampires in a number of ways, so it makes a sort of sense. You're up working all hours of the night, you have a tendency to drain the life from your staff, and most importantly, you kill a lot of trees. I used to know a guy back in my RHPS days who had a Vampire game character who had declared enmity on trees as a whole, on the grounds that the best way to kill him would be with a wooden stake, and if he could eliminate the trees, that would be so much less wood that could be made into stakes. This stuck with me, for some reason.
kittenpants was giving an art lesson, so the house was full of teens and tweens, and also while triadruid was facilitating a meeting of the Neighborhood Association, so those folks were all there, too. (Not that we have a Neighborhood Association, thank the gods.) Anyway. I'm trying to make tea for everyone, but there aren't any clean cups in the house, and even cups I pull out of the dishwasher turn out to still have teabags in them. Somehow the interview goes well. They offer me a job as an editor, and the salary is unreasonably large. Even in dream brain, I knew there was something wrong with this. I ask the woman if the number is correct, because everybody knows there's no money in the newspaper business unless you own the paper. She tells me it's a very upscale paper, so we're well-sponsored, and that this will mean that I'll be printing a lot of stuff with a high-capitalism slant. I'm not really down with that, but hey, it's a lot of money, right? She tells me I'll also have to commute a few times a week to the paper's office, which is in Des Moines. That part doesn't sound so bad. Then, she asks me if I'm a vampire. I look at her funny for a while, and then say that I'm not. She makes it very clear that I will have to become one.
Somehow this all seems like a good idea. I go to Des Moines the next day to be hired, and presumably to become a vampire. Skip ahead a few days. I return to find that EHQ is empty. The house is, in fact, gone.
iron_clad is there on the lot, though, and he tells me that my family has moved. I follow him to the new place. This is through what seems to be several miles of badlands (which, after waking up and thinking about it, seemed to be Blue River Road). The new house is two to three times the size of EHQ (which is already not a small house). I go into the house, and
kittenpants and triadruid are there. They tell me they'd hired iron_clad to do all the moving, and to decorate the house. My room is down the hall. I go there, and it's an office room. Apparently now we have our own offices. I start to put things away in a chest of drawers and they say, no, clothes go in your other room. So I go downstairs, to where they've indicated my other room is. This room has a bed in it, and some other bedroom furniture on dark greenish-brown walls and pale carpet. It is also filled with weaponry. There are swords on the walls, and a big round shield. In the corner, there is an umbrella stand full of polearms and spears. iron_clad has apparently picked all this stuff out for me. I wake up with the reflection that newspaper editors are a lot like vampires in a number of ways, so it makes a sort of sense. You're up working all hours of the night, you have a tendency to drain the life from your staff, and most importantly, you kill a lot of trees. I used to know a guy back in my RHPS days who had a Vampire game character who had declared enmity on trees as a whole, on the grounds that the best way to kill him would be with a wooden stake, and if he could eliminate the trees, that would be so much less wood that could be made into stakes. This stuck with me, for some reason.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 04:17 pm (UTC)Cooler temperatures are better for the silicon brain.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 08:30 pm (UTC)Mostly though, and umbrella stand down here would have to say "This is not a trach can" on it. Some of these folks here in the Sunshine State tend to get confused, after all.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:16 pm (UTC)Also, I know you think people in Florida are stupid, but let me tell you this. I used to think that too, and then I moved to Stupid Fucking Kansas. People are stupid everywhere you go.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 09:16 pm (UTC)And yeah, she was originally/spent a great deal of time in Virginia and D.C.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 10:00 pm (UTC)