Wondrous Apparitions, Provided by Magicians.

One of the things that surprised me when I worked the phones was the amount of guys who simply wanted a blow job and couldn't get one from their partners. I don't get it but to each his own, or not, I guess.

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I join you in the "I do not get that at all" camp. What taboo even is that? Other than as part of the whole "no sex acts unless it's gonna result in offspring" thing, I have never even encountered the spectre of "nice/good/righteous/normal people don't go down". There couldn't be that many people out there who aren't fucking except to breed, could there? (And even then, I mean, you could do it after. I'm just saying.)

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I guess for some it's a cleanliness issue? the idea that it's "dirty" or maybe their partner is gross. I don't know, I love oral sex, both sexes, so to me it's strange, then again I despise missionary and a lot of people like that.

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rfunk.livejournal.com

Yeah, in my experience the hesitation to give it seems to be some sort of cleanliness issue. Though I still don't get the hesitation on the part of some women to receive it.

(I might elaborate, but as far as I'm concerned, TMI is other people's private information told without their permission.)

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triadruid.livejournal.com

That's the one that kills me, too. Not giving, ooookay, I can see some arguments for that. But dude, "I am so not letting you give me that sort of pleasure, buddy!"

No. Effing. Clue.

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fionnabhar.livejournal.com

Little girls are told from the get-go that they're kind of nasty, and by the time they're in college, they've been convinced by the comedy culture that they smell of fish.

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I guess some women feel self conscious about their body. I don't know.

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duriyah.livejournal.com

I'm not sure whether you are referring to a cleanliness issue for women or men giving oral sex, or both. But we recently had a question over in

ask_me_anything, regarding women's enthusiasm for giving bj's. Some women loved it, but many seemed to find it boring and/or somewhat uncomfortable to do for any length of time. There was only one woman who mentioned cleanliness as a factor. I completely concur with her, however. But then I'm a clean freak in general.

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the question, I asked was; Have you ever just spontaneously gone down on your partner, and not expected anything in return. Most of those guys had not, Or they did the three lick rule, and even Tootsie Pops take more than three licks ;-)

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Actually, this is one area I prefer to give than recieve, but then I have an oral thing:)

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Yes, I have gatherd. or is it I have imagined ;-)
"Dream a little dream...."8-}
I, of course, am your male counter part, but I do love mutual, as well.

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I join you in bafflement. At risk of TMI, as repressed as I can be even I'm not that repressed.

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This is how baffled I am at the phenonmenon: It's not TMI if you tell me you enjoy oral sex. It's not TMI because I assume that all people enjoy oral sex. That is part of my core assumption about other sexually active human beings, that they will enjoy oral sex.

Of course, I also assume everybody's bisexual, and I'm told that's not really true, so my assumptions are perhaps a bit suspect. (In case you were wondering, I am generally told that this is untrue by straight men who tell me that they are not really bisexual because they are only turned on by some men. At the risk of derailing the line of speculation we are already following, what the fuck is up with that? I mean, I'm only turned on by some men, does that mean I'm a lesbian? Oh wait, I'm only turned on by some women. I must be asexual. What the hell.)

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I reckon any information about a person's sex life has the potential to be TMI to some folks, for whom I put in the disclaimer. I don't reckon I'm creative enough to come up with something that would be TMI for you :-)

As for the other, labels like that annoy me. I'll admit they can be useful catergories in certain contexts, but generally? Just annoying.

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Eh. Labels are shorthand, not walls.

And I'm sure that you're infinitely capable of coming up with things that are TMI for me. (That's an expression of faith in you, though, not the toss of a gauntlet.) :-P

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Yeah, shorthand would be one of the useful categories. Unfortunately, it seems like way too may people hear shorthand and extend it into walls.

I appreciate your expression of faith in me, and will endeavor to be creative in a non-gauntlet-throwing kind of way ;-)

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I've got to go with Zylch on this. Labels are pretty useless, atleast among people who are actually honest about these things. I have never in my life been aroused by another guy. But then, there are a LOT of woman that don't arouse me either. If I sit down and identify the qualities that do and don't...they don't seem to be terribly gender specific. If a woman aroused me then I'm interested in her equipment, it isn't the equipment that gets me goin in the first place. So am I straight? I've never been with, or particularly wanted to be with another guy. Then again I don't write it off as impossible either, because there might very well be a guy I haven't met yet. Who knows. Labels just keep you from having to think to hard about what it is you actually look for.

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As I'm saying to

zylch, above, it's shorthand, not an unbreakable box. I try to be accurate where possible, but for quick reference purposes, I'm willing to sacrifice some amount of detail.

Your (and

zylch's) point is taken, though.

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triadruid.livejournal.com

SRSLY. I find most women attractive sexually, and only a small subset of men. Does that make me straight? Bi? Hypocritical.

Fuck if I know... nor do I really care about the label part.

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I also fail to comprehend the reason, I've found guys have about the same statistic though, and for them it certainly isn't the "fuck for breeding" thing. I remember a lot of conversations when I used to work shipping docks and manufacturing. Workin joes have a thing about it. I can't count the number of otherwise sex crazed guys I met that wouldn't even consider goin down. Hell, just bringin it up marked you as something of a deviant. I remember in Indi I used to work with an air force reserve medic. We'd all had the usual lunch break conversations and he and I were the only two that didn't mind a little (or a lot) of tongue work. He was a bright guy, talkative...liked to flirt with the few women. The other guys would almost always have somethin to say about that. They'd warn the girls off "Watch out, that guy fucks crazy." or somesuch. It was all the usual piss of course, friendly enough, but it got brought up.

For myself I've only ever had the one girl that absolutely wouldn't, still won't. And she's in med-school now. My first was a bit shy about it, considered it a BIG favor to me if she did, something I'd owe her for....the converse wasn't true. But then, we were pretty young back then. She went on to four-year as far as I know.

My experience outside the states is that they all have more fun than us. Some of the stories I used to get over drinks from Kuwaiti fellas turned my stomach...and I've always considered myself pretty damn willing. Then again, if there ever was a whole country of misogynistic asshats, Kuwait is it. My female asian friends are universally willing in these matters and many others according to my male asian friends. The japanese are also misogynistic asshats though. Come to think of it, I really need to go to some countries that aren't misogynistic asshat-ish.

It would be interesting to see a breakdown of what the respondents parents did and did not do. I suspect that might be a better indicator than education.

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It would be interesting to see a breakdown of what the respondents parents did and did not do. I suspect that might be a better indicator than education.

That would be interesting to see. Of course, every time I read somebody's survey research or an abstract of somebody's survey research, I always want to know what else they asked, and why they didn't ask this other perfectly relevant question that occurs to me, and so on. Also, I want to look for the actual study -- it's all well and good to read what the reporter thinks of it, but I want to read it without that person's biases, so that I can apply my own biases. I'm a data whore, basically.

Also, if I'm interested in someone, and someone else says "Watch out, that person fucks crazy", that's points in favor of the person who allegedly fucks crazy. I then want to know what exactly 'crazy' implies, and if they're worth the hype they're generating. That could just be me, though.

With regard to whether or not people in other countries have more fun, I couldn't say. I have not had the opportunity to screw anybody from anywhere outside the good ol' US of A. But hey, life is long, right?

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saffronhare.livejournal.com

I regret that I do not have a statistically significant sampling for this. I wonder if we could find a grant to fund that sort of research?

(or maybe I should start my list of five things I absolutely should not do, even though they'd be fun?)

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It sounds like a group research project if you ask me.

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I'll see what I can do, but I doubt a statistically significant sample will be forthcoming in the next 6 months.

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Laughs* I would also consider that a recommendation, but I know they didn't mean it that way. Seems to me that the less educated just see things as appropriate only if familiar. These are the same sorta guys that brush off politics and current events as "I don't really care." They aren't gona try new things, they aren't gona think new things. If cleanliness was part of the equation then these dudes must have been hittin somethin pretty damn nasty, cause they were all right scuzzy themselves. Anyhow, interesting conversation. Also, I wasn't balking at your use of labels, just agreeing that the issue is totally arbitrary...utterly lacking in useful definitions, probably because truly useful definitions don't exist.

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saffronhare.livejournal.com

"Educated husbands are also more likely to help with housework, which turns out to be a potent aphrodisiac. "

No shit, really? (this, from one of your friendly neighborhood Cancerians)

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ZOMG. Mutual respect + nobody drop-dead tired = more sex? No Wai.

Somebody probably spent a lot of money on that, too. But since there are probably people out here that would not have come to that conclusion on their own, it might be a worthwhile investment.

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niveus-tigris.livejournal.com

...it looks good. In practical application, results vary wildly.

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greektoomey.livejournal.com

Didn't you know? Education is not a Family Value.

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G'yajkh *twitch* *spasm* *spit* *calvinface*

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triadruid.livejournal.com

*pets the monster*

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Then let us discuss the educated ones, who did all manner of sex as students, excluding genital sex of course. Cause that was having sex for real” I am not having sexual relations with that woman.", then stop performing oral sex after they get married and under their religious blessing can, (Scratching head to baldness)

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rfunk.livejournal.com

Dunno, I work with a guy who told me one of his reasons for getting married was so he could have all kinds of sex without violating his biblical beliefs.

I didn't ask if that included oral, though. The conversation was already weird enough.

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Ya, I just never got hooked with "Sex",as a "Sin" thing. Even after being a good little Catholic Boy ;-)

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I can think of some sex I would consider a sin, but that has nothing to do with the specific actions so much as the reasons and or people involved.

*The thought of you in as a little catholic boy is....truly hilarious to me }-).

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Than the thought of me at seminary learning to be Fransican Monk, would just role you over LOL

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