On Selective Reporting

[featherynscale]

Last night, I was talking to wildnsquirrelly, who expressed regrets over the usual content of my subconscious, and asked if I didn't ever have any really good dreams, the sort where one has wild succulent sex with people one would never really get to screw, and so on. I told him that I do, but that I don't usually post them on LJ. He says, "Oh, okay," and moves on.

triadruid picked up the thread this morning: "Why don't you post that? In fact, you hardly ever mention anything in your LJ about sex at all. It's not like anybody minds. You post all this awful stuff in detail, things that make you feel worse, but you don't post about things that make you feel better." He goes on to say that my LJ is like the conversations you have with your parents when you've first moved away to college; they say "What are you doing?", and you, percieving that they don't want to know about your frat parties, drug experimentation, intense work with community theater, and other vices, say "Nuthin'..." and drag your feet.

And that could be true. I could be selectively reporting my crap events, leaving out whole worlds of happy times. But I kind of figure that you don't want to know about my sex life. Or that the other people involved in my sex life would perhaps prefer that I didn't discuss it. Or that posting about one's own sex life is attention-whoring behavior. Or that I wouldn't be able to write about sex in an entertaining manner. Or any number of other things. So if you were wondering why, that's why.

Comments

With all the love in my heart...

[kittenpants.livejournal.com]

Some days, I want to kick you square in the Thinking Well of Self. Jeebus.

Re: With all the love in my heart...

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Where is that located, exactly?

[lexpendragon.livejournal.com]

Did you comment somewhere that you couldn't write about sex well?

If that wasn't you, then consider that a challenge. Even if it was you. I see no reason why anyone would mind reading about an attractive woman's sex life, especially if she enjoys it.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Did you comment somewhere that you couldn't write about sex well?
I don't think so. I just haven't done much of it, so there may be a thing going on in which I'm not sure that I can do it. I'm not even really sure that's a reason actually in play, it just seems like the sort of thing I would think.

Also, there's a comment begging to be made about not minding reading about attractive women's sex lives, and how that might not imply that people wouldn't mind reading about mine, but I'm pretty sure that making will earn me an actual kick from kittenpants, in some portion of my anatomy, even if she can't find the part that runs Thinking Well of Self.

Very well, we'll spell it out:

[lexpendragon.livejournal.com]

Y-o-u-a-r-e-a-h-a-w-t-w-o-m-a-n-period.

Wait, strike that last one, -exclamation point. If you don't believe me, go look in a mirror.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Mirrors lie.

[hekatatia.livejournal.com]

I often feel my LJ fits his description but I haven't had that impression about yours. (Though admittedly I've no idea what your life is like other than what you share here.)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I generally assume that one's LJ is not a reflection of one's total life. I have internal guidelines for what to post and what to leave out, and I suspect that other people do, too. Also, I think most people are more inclined to write about what's pissing them off rather than what's making them ecstatic -- if you've got something pissing you off, you're probably trying to avoid it, and writing a post is a good way to do that for a moment, whereas if something really great is going on, you're probably out there doing it, not in front of the screen writing about it. So there's that.
But I have some new curiosities now. I feel a poll coming on.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

It is funny, I have heard that you asked my wife for certain indulgences with me, but I figured she was nuts, because from any interaction we've had, I can't even imagine you in sexual situations. Maybe it's the androgeny, maybe it's the lack of nook-bragging, maybe it's just that you're married... I dunno.

I've been told that simply having an LJ is attention-whoring. ::shrug::

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I don't remember asking your wife for your favors, but I do recall a couple of conversations about relationship styles that could potentially have been construed that way. Not that I'm saying you're not interesting in that way, or anything, it's just not the sort of thing you ask about if you know people are Not Down With That.

Also, I imagine that many/most people would have difficulty imagining me in sexual situations, for some of the reasons you mention, and some others. (AND IF ANYONE READING THIS COMMENT WISHES TO CONTRADICT THAT ASSUMPTION, I WOULD PREFER THAT THEY RECONSIDER. OKTHX.)

And yeah, there is some merit to your last sentence, as well. *shrug* So I guess I am an attention-whore after all. :-P

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

Ok, so she was nuts. Ironically, (or per the norm actually), I got yelled at whenever she thought you were asking for permission to bang me.

All the better that she decided to run off and do things that made her happier. Or at least not as unhappy as being with me made her.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

This thing where a person blames someone for something someone else has done wrong, it Pisses Me Off. I'm sorry for any pain and suffering I may have inadvertently caused you. :(

Also, I am even more delighted to see you moving on.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

The pain and suffering would have been there regardless. Without that, I would have never known to move on. Heck, without her sneaking around after such controls, I never would have even thought to move on.

Er, I should clarify that I'm not 'moving on' as much as I am staying the course. Living with Mik has been a mixed blessing, but as I cannot trust her to be straightforward about her activities, sex partners, or even what she wants in life. I don't even thing SHE knows what she wants in life as it changes from year to year. All I know is that I keep making her less happy, and while she likes the umbrella of security I provide, I do not like the cloud of insecurity she provides.

So it's the same as when she was drinking, partying, and playing around, with the exception that I am getting rid of the heartache of having a former best friend in the house lying to me (even if just through ommission) whenever they speak.

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

I've been told that simply having an LJ is attention-whoring.

I don't know that I completely agree with that. I find LJ liberating in a way that allows me to say things and ask things and discuss things that in a normal face to face conversation would be more difficult for me.

But then, that may be just me... :-)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

There is a mediating factor here that if you're on LJ, you're only attention-whoring to other people who either a) are themselves attention-whores, or b) signed up to be attention-whored at. So I guess it's okay. :)

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

Works for me. I don't mind being an attention-whore, I guess it's when that fact is pointed out that gets me...

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

Fascinating post and coments. Not unlike not enjoying my resume composition, I have trouble writing about me. I use the journal to tell stories I think will amuse or to get advice or assistance on a matter, or word out about an event.
How ever interesting my sex life may be to others, provided lexpendragon thinks I'm hawt enough, I can't see writing about it on any lj type blog.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I use the journal to tell stories I think will amuse or to get advice or assistance on a matter, or word out about an event.

That's a lot of what I'm keeping the LJ for. I also use it to keep track of things, like my virtues practice and devotions, but mostly I am writing for the reasons you mention. And lo, when I do post about sex, what I am usually posting about is to get people's views on some hypothetical or statistical question that happens to be related to sex.

Also, I'm sure that lexpendragon would approve your hawtness for sex blogging, if you seemed inclined in that direction. He seems to draw the line somewhere below myself, and you're much hotter than I. :)

[nottygypsy.livejournal.com]

"He seems to draw the line somewhere below myself, and you're much hotter than I. :)"

You, stop making me love you today!

(doom is blushing!)
I think we are equally hawt and that is pretty damn hawt ;)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Ha! I make Doom blush! :)

[wildnsquirrelly.livejournal.com]

This comment is left intnetionally blank.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

What are you trying to say there?

[wildnsquirrelly.livejournal.com]

It's me saying "No comment" in such a way as to be somewhat amusing in its irony.

When you first started going to UNF you had some school book or another that had a page near the end that said "This page was intentionally left blank" or some-such, and it tickled you so much you hung it on your door for a while.