Consultancy. Ho.

[featherynscale]

I've just spent the last two days at a management meeting for which we paid a consultant an unreasonable (though not obscene, we are a nonprofit) amount of money to teach such advanced concepts as owning your own shit, having integrity, and distinguishing facts from myth. Every time I go to one of those things, and witness the amazement of my co-workers at the effectiveness of this really base-level stuff, I think to myself, "Self, your future career is in corporate consultancy".

For extra bonus points, the consultant asked me at a break something on the order of, "So, you seem to be really up on this stuff, have you been trained in it before?". And I wanted to say, "Yes, I'm a magician." But that's not the sort of thing you say to corporate consultants, is it? But yes. I do what I say I will do. I analyze systems and determine how to be most effective with least effort. I try not to expend energy without having a purpose and understanding what that purpose is. I try to live with no expectations of result. And so on.

It's a racket, but it seems to be a racket that helps people, and it seems to be a racket that pays pretty well. I'm not sure how you get into it, but I am resolved to find out.

Comments

[liquidfun.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I've caught your act outside the carnival. I prefer my snake oil with a touch of cinnamon, though."

Apparently my file at HR is now several inches thick, most of which stems from comments I've made while at work ...

On a vaguely related note, apparently you're not supposed to comment on somebody's "treasure chest" even if it IS talk-like-a-pirate-day.

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

What about mentioning 'fantastic booty'?

[adammaker.livejournal.com]

If you Had said you were a magician,
I'll bet s/he would have jumped on the stage magic meaning.
Once he was there, s/he could default to a stage magician understanding people so as to better further the illusions.

Understanding is understanding, to some degree.
(pun intended)

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

There is a social engineering concept behind this it seems. I was a consultant for a number of years, many times the 'magic' I worked was simply getting things implemented that people already wanted.

Currently, I am in eleventy gagillion meetings as we are having a fire drill trying to implement a number of suggestions that a consultant group gave us. Ironically, the six projects I'm on are all things I have been saying we should be able to do for years.

A good point was made though, there has to be an excuse to fund the change, but more importantly, it has been noted that the biggest obstacle is not the technology, it is people resisting change, and with the consultant's 130+ page cost-benefit analysis, it means change is easier to implement because they can't attack it as the idea of one person internally. The social politics around it is amazing.

[starwyse.livejournal.com]

It is an excellent racket. Life coaching, Executive coaching, Consulting, etc...I will chack and see if I still know people in the racket.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

hehe... good luck! :)
i'd get tired of talking to morons all day :(

You're amazed by FOLLOW-UP sir? Holy shit, wait 'til I tell you all about the wonders of "doing things right the first time."

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Hell, talking to people who lack the clues is pretty much my job now.

[liquidfun.livejournal.com]

It's a racket, but it seems to be a racket that helps people, and it seems to be a racket that pays pretty well. I'm not sure how you get into it, but I am resolved to find out.

I'm not real sure how you get into the racket myself. We've got a pile of Human Resources consultants where I work that go tell managers "You need to tell your employees what changes are coming which affect their jobs" and other super-amazingly-obvious bits of trivia.

What method is used to hire these consultants is a mystery to me. We've had former nurses, lawyers, and generic business administration types as well as people from a small host of other occupations.

Why people pay us for the services we provide I'll never know.

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

"For extra bonus points, the consultant asked me at a break something on the order of, "So, you seem to be really up on this stuff, have you been trained in it before?". And I wanted to say, "Yes, I'm a magician." But that's not the sort of thing you say to corporate consultants, is it?"

Grant Morrison maaged to do exactly that - and get paid big bucks by megacorps to teach them about magic as a modelling system.

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

Yep. I've been sayin' this for a while now...you would kick. ass. as a consultant. You have that special ability of being able to explain things to people, *and* get them to think things through on their own. And, well, you've got the intimidation thing going for you. Not that such has anything to do with anything else but the image that's running through my head of Lucy Liu in a leather dress, high heels, and a flogger of some kind.

Um. Yeah. Consultant. You should totally do that.