Some people have skills, some people ... thingy.

[featherynscale]

On the recent library excursion, I picked up one of the Dresden Files books. These are the stories of a Chicago wizard-for-hire who presumably hunts down demons and evildoers and smites them in a way not entirely unlike any hardboiled detective, except with magic. I think that's what they're about, anyway. The book I'm reading is like book 7 of a series, or something, and I'm only about a fourth of the way in.

Anyway, it strikes me reading this, that the author uses a lot of slang words that I thought were pretty localized to the Kansas City folks I hang out with. And lo, the book bio reveals that he lives in Independence. So I'm looking at this picture, trying to work out whether or not this guy is somebody we know. I'm telling triadruid about it this morning, and he asks what the guy looks like. I'm like, "Like somebody we'd know. Medium-to-heavy build, long dark hair, dressed in black, little silver glasses, serious expression. You know, like half the world's pagans/fantasy lit fans." He says, "Let kittenpants take a look at it. She's better at recognizing people than I am. And I think I'm better than you are."

I consider this for a moment. I rapidly come to the conclusion that a half-dead monkey would be better at recognizing people by their faces than I am. I recognize people by style of dress, general body shape, and coloration. I'm pretty good with voices, but faces? I'm crap at faces. Cut and color your hair, and I won't recognize you for minutes. Lose a lot of weight, gain a lot of weight, I will have no idea who you are until you speak. Suddenly opt for a different subculture's clothing style, and even if I saw you yesterday, I won't be able to parse who you are without a serious evaluation of the circumstances.

I've always been bad at this. I suspect that it is part of the reason why my preference in film is mostly for comic book adaptations -- if all the characters are dressed in different and outlandish costumes, it's much easier to sort out which one's doing what. Give me a film about WWII, where all the characters are wearing US Army uniforms with helmets, and are covered in dirt or camo makeup, and I'm totally lost.

Once upon a time, when I was in college, I worked in a mall information booth. Directly across from my booth was a booth for Godiva chocolates. I knew most of the people that worked there, and there was one of the bunch that I had gone out with a few times, that I had in fact, slept with. One day, this fellow who had been a blonde came in with a new purple dye job. I'm sitting in my little booth saying to my co-worker, "Who's the new chocolate guy? He's kind of cute!". She's rolling her eyes as if to say, "Dumbass, you slept with that guy." So that's no good.

There are, of course, a few exceptions. I'm pretty confident, for example, that I could correctly pick triadruid and kittenpants out in any visual field, even if they were to, say, suddenly shave their heads and don Dick Tracy yellow trenchcoats. I'm pretty sure that I could pick Johnny Depp out of a lineup (I have a vague suspicion that I like him above all other actors because he's easy for me to recognize, but I can't be sure). I can often, but not always, recognize my mother from haircut to haircut. I don't always recognize myself in pictures.

So I'm thinking that if I were ever called upon to provide details on a suspect for a police sketch artist, that's one bastard who's getting away. I'd be able to describe every detail of his outfit, what he was carrying, and so on and so forth, but I'd be shocked if I could get beyond color of hair and number of eyes, otherwise.

Comments

[kissmythistle.livejournal.com]

The Dresden Files books are a lot of fun. There are recurring characters, so starting with the first book (Storm Front) is not such a bad thing if you want to understand the backstory. (The Sci-Fi channel will be airing a TV series based on the books. Yes, I'm a geeky fan, why do you ask?)

Jim Butcher was at DragonCon this year, but, since he DOES, in fact, look like your average fantasy fan, you would have had the aforementioned recognition problem, because I don't believe he was wearing a costume. ;)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize that this one (which is something like "Until Proven Guilty" -- I'm also bad with titles) was so far into the series, or I probably wouldn't have picked it up. I prefer to read from the beginning. But it's pretty good so far, so I'm imagining that I will go back and try to start from book one at some point.

I always have a fine oblivious time talking to people at DragonCon -- I can talk to anybody, because I never know who they are unless I can see their badge. I go to panels, it seems to me that the rest of the people in the room know who the speakers are, I never do. Especially since I mostly go to writers' panels. Unless they say "I'm so and so, and I wrote this book..." I'm totally lost.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

Mik will be able to pick out someone she played with in 5th grade after 30 years, severe weight shifts, and aggressive face cancer.

I am unable to pick out myself in pictures, nor do I even recognize my wife or children in a crowd if I don't expect to see them there. However, I can pick out a voice like nobody's business. It's like an aural trivial pursuit when I watch cartoons.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I'm about like that with the voices, too. I think that's my only saving grace in social situations. Well, that, and the fact that I'm good at remembering names if I can get a description to go with it. Like, "That guy that came to this event wearing the hat with the red feather." I will totally have a name for that guy, even though I would never be able to recognize his face.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

I will recognize armor, but can't remember the name of the guy who I've been hanging out with for three years. Not his persona name OR his real name. Weird.

I think facially, I mostly recognize facial expressions... I know Aislinn by her smiling eyes, others by their scowls. If a scowly person is happy or Aislinn is scowling, I don't recognize them.

[ysabel.livejournal.com]

It's called "faceblindness" and it's a fairly well understood glitch in your hardware. Google "faceblind" if you want more about it. There's also tests that make it pretty obvious pretty quickly, I saw one recently and could probably dig that one up if you wanted.

[ysabel.livejournal.com]

Oh, and Jim is in my online social circle, amusingly enough.

(Start with the first Dresden book.)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised, really. And I will, provided I can find a copy.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I took the sort of self-test things at faceblind.org. They have one where you identify celebrities by face only, and one where they show you random women's faces and ask you to memorize them, then ask you to pick the ones you've seen before out of a larger field.

I did predictably crappily on this. I got about 55% of the random faces right (with an average being 85%, apparently) and 27% of the celebrities. On the bright side, I can apparently pick out politicians with more accuracy than movie stars, which I think means I pay attention to the right things. Also, I had no problem identifying Patrick Stewart or Ghandi, probably because I'm used to seeing them without hair. (Stewart was the only actor I could spot in the list.)

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

That was a very groovy test.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I was stunningly average; 87% on the first test, and 84% on the second.

[liquidfun.livejournal.com]

Yes, I also seem to have some symptoms of faceblindness ... people I work with on a daily basis will approach me at out-of-the-office situations and until they speak to me I have no idea who they are.

Voices I can usually recognize, faces, almost never if unless in a familiar setting.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

hahaha I'm like that too.
10 minutes after meeting someone i can't pull up their face.

what's odd is i can picture things so vividly, events and stuff like a snapshot but the peoples faces are always blurred *lol*

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Unsurprising, really, that faceblindness is linked at times with austic spectrum disorders. What is surprising, you may find, is that Penn Jillette has said he suffers from it.

So, good company, and all that. Though I'm pretty sure you can pick him out of a lineup, too.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

So yeah, me, and diermuid and liquidfun.... Yeah.

Also, I can absolutely pick Penn Jillette out of a lineup. He's the tall one with the long curly brown hair in a ponytail, wearing the suit and the thick glasses. ::headdesk::

[capriciouslass.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the YCP. We already know he has faceblindness.
You're really in good company there.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize he had that as part of the deal -- he always seems to recognize people, but I mean, so do I, I'm just not using the face as a cue. Is there anything he is doing to work on it, or develop other strategies? Is there anything one can do about it? (I didn't get very far in the reading).

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

Ironically, I've noticed there's a lot of "mage-for-hire" novel series appearing these days. Especially since I happen to actually be one... and I look like a typical (overweight, bearded) male fan and dress habitually in black!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I have to ask: Does that pay? Are you making a living being a mage for hire? Coz if you are, I'm filing that in the weirdly impressed file along with the clay soldier guy the other day. :)

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

Straight answer:
It doesn't pay *often* but it pays *well*... I'm lucky enough to have a wealthy wife and we don't need to rely on my occult-related gigs to keep a roof over our heads - which is why I felt able to start the company up. I've been pro for five years now - with a twenty year apprenticeship before that, learning the trade as it were.

But yes - I am a professional combat magician/ghostbuster/demon-hunter/exorcist. Every year on my tax return, I put "Paranormal security consultant."
The website is http://www.athanor.org.uk/.
My colleague David Devereux has written a book about his work for the firm, details here;
http://www.david-devereux.com/memoirs.html

And... if you want to chat in more detail about it please feel free to drop me a line. Anything outside of client-confidential information, I'm happy to talk about.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I am totally fascinated by this. I'll pull up the sites when I get home. Also, I have eleventy billion questions, if you would be kind enough to take the time to indulge my curiosity. I'll drop you an email later.

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

I look forward to it!