Squirrels and painters

[featherynscale]

This morning, as triadruid and I were leaving the neighborhood, we encountered a squirrel in the middle of the road. Unlike most squirrels, which recognize the threat level of a large motor vehicle moving towards them, and perhaps evaluate the potential damage tires could do to their delicate furry little bodies, this squirrel stood his ground. He stared Asmodeus down like this was no problem at all.

Is it squirrel suicide season already? It seems too early -- the early morning chill that seems to make the little buggers decide that they haven't stored enough nuts and that there's no point in going on has not yet set in. And yet. Squirrels, I ventured, are emo rodents. One day, it's all "Look at the fresh new world we live in -- I shall do unlikely things for the joy of this unlikely day!," and the next, it's more like "Oh, the love has abandoned me, and I cannot face another winter!". And then, you're picking them off your tires.

triadruid disagreed. Some squirrels, he said, are batshit crazy enthusiastic, and some are suicidal, but they're not the same squirrels. It would be hard to tell, though, he admitted, because all squirrels look alike.

"Not the ones that live near ursulav," I said. He informed me that this is because ursulav is mutagenic. She paints, and it warps things. After all, have we ever seen pictures of James? No, we had not, I allowed. We don't even know what James *is*, he said. I had always assumed he was a human, being as they were married, and I'm pretty sure in no state in the union do they let you marry someone who isn't a human. "Oh sure," he says, "He was human *then*."

This brought up new and horrible possibilities: "Do you suppose kittenpants is mutagenic?" No, he assured me. She paints in a realistic style. She stopped things from changing, slowed them down. Thank the gods, I thought. As rapidly as things change now, just think how they would be if we didn't have her powers on our side! No one can live at that speed.

Comments

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

That sentence can be made true by removing three words, and adding a whole crapload of clauses.

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

Does 1337 even count as a word?