featherynscale: Schmendrick the magician from The Last Unicorn (Default)
[personal profile] featherynscale
Last night I had another one of those dreams where I'm chief of security. I was in charge of securing a parking garage so that [livejournal.com profile] saffronhare and Kevin Smith (Silent Bob Kevin Smith, not, as [livejournal.com profile] triadruid asked this morning, Ares God of War Kevin Smith) could bake cookies inside it. No, I don't know what kind of cookies they were.

This was serious sort of secret service shit, which I know because I was wearing a somber suit and using a walkie-talkie. We rolled some sort of bullet-deflecting mesh down over the sides of the building. I was ordering someone to go up on the roof with a rocket launcher when my cell phone rang.

On the other end of the phone was the Queen of England (as portrayed by Scott Thompson, Kids in the Hall), who was offering to place our operation under the protection of the British Empire, if we would surrender a portion of the cookies to the crown. I distinctly recall saying, "Thank you ma'am, but with all due respect, fuck you, ma'am. We'll take our chances." At this point, I heard helicopters and was hoping like hell that my man was up on the roof. About that time, I woke up.

Date: 2006-07-14 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronhare.livejournal.com
Kevin looks like a guy who likes him some cookies. Glad you had our back, yo. My baking needs all the help it can get.

Date: 2006-07-14 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] featherynscale.livejournal.com
I'm not 100% sure, but I'm willing to wager that the cookies had cranberries in them, somewhere.

Date: 2006-07-14 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronhare.livejournal.com
Oh. Cranberries? Then it's ON, man.
.
.
Seeing you in a somber suit with a walkie talkie would totally be worth trying to work my cranberry-fu in a parking garage.

Date: 2006-07-14 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] featherynscale.livejournal.com
See, I am inherently the sort of person who prefers a somber suit. The reason why you will never ever actually see me in one is that they don't make them to fit me. If I ever become wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice, I will hire someone to make men's dress clothes that fit on my body. Hell, I can't even buy women's suits. Tits too stupidly excessive.

Date: 2006-07-14 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saffronhare.livejournal.com
Now there's a challenge. Nevermind learning how to make a corset. I'll concentrate on making suits.

Date: 2006-07-14 09:06 pm (UTC)
ext_3038: Red Panda with the captain "Oh Hai!" (hiiiii.... - from Lilo & Stitch)
From: [identity profile] triadruid.livejournal.com
I've seen you in one or two suits that *almost* fit you, and Hot Damn.

Date: 2006-07-14 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] featherynscale.livejournal.com
See, I like suits. Why does the universe deny me suits?

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