If I'd known it was this easy...

[featherynscale]

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a morning person. In fact, most of my time in the morning on days when I am required to be somewhere by a certain time that ends in ayem is spent in a state of nameless dread, loathing, and self-pity. Which, as you might imagine, is not the best possible foundation for the sort of day one might enjoy.

So I've been working on how to fix this. Thus far, everything has failed. I tried setting the clock ahead, so that I would get up earlier and have a better chance of being past the dread stage by the time I had to actually do something. No dice. I just dread longer. I tried adding breakfast to my morning routine. Helpful, but still, the dread. I suspect that if I could manage sex first thing in the morning, that would help. This is tremendously unlikely, though, since generally when I wake up I find that either a) I'm sleeping alone or b) I'm sleeping with someone that doesn't have to be anywhere as early as I do, and therefore has no interest in being woken up just this minute.

So, doom. But then, yesterday, something occurred to me. It probably had something to do with the fact that yesterday's 90s at Noon show seemed to be in large part Nine Inch Nails. It occurred to me that if the first thing that happened to me in the morning was good music, well, it might not be sex (although sometimes it might be really close -- and seriously, was there anybody at the NIN show the other day who didn't describe it in terms of sex?), but it might be interesting enough to pull me past the dread stage into something else. I envisioned this as something like waving a handful of coffee beans under the nose of a java-junkie first thing in the morning... or pulling an uncooperative dog out of a doghouse with a well-placed treat, something like that.

So yesterday evening, triadruid was kind enough to purchase for me a CD alarm clock. This morning, instead of BEEP BEEP BEEP, Downward Spiral. Instead of dread, predatory good cheer. Of course, I think triadruid got the dread instead, mostly due to the fact that I bit him viciously and unceremoniously before he was really awake. But hey, it's a work in progress.

Comments

An experiment worth duplicating.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

Excellent plan. This is in part why I have the morning alarm at my house set to an Actual Radio Station instead of NPR, as agrnmn may prefer. NPR does nothing to inspire my body to move or even pay attention. However, since the radio station is not all that great, I will sometimes have to wait until a booty-licious song comes on to actual start moving -- something which I'm certain drives agrnmn nuts.

Must do some research.

[diermuid.livejournal.com]

If that fails, you can borrow my strategies for success CD, on how to defeat your own stubborn mind. 8-)

Two questions

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

Doesn't, like sex, this cause a problem for anyone in the same bed who might not want to get up yet?

And aren't you inclined, as saffronhare alluded to, to just lay there listening to your music?

In college we had the stereo set to wake us with whatever someone left in the tape deck, very loud. The first day it was Purple Haze, whose intro worked well enough. But when my roommate and his girlfriend left Negativland's "Car Bomb" to wake me, I got up ready to kill them.

Re: Two questions

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Well, with regard to the first question, yes and no. In my mind (which may or may not reflect what other people think), hearing music in the morning is closer to the experience of hearing an alarm clock go off than to the experience of someone trying to have sex with you before you're awake. And I think that the first category of experiences are the sort of thing a reasonable person would expect to have when they go to bed with someone who has to get up earlier than they do, whereas the second category of experiences would not be things a reasonable person would expect. Really, in the case of listening to music first thing, they're not required to make any sort of response. So it seems less intrusive. On the other hand, the duration of CD play is closer to the duration of requests for sex than to the duration of alarm clock going off. So I don't know. More research will be required on that.

Secondly, yes, but I'm generally inclined to just lie there anyway. The function of the music is not to get me out of bed faster, it's to give me something other than Fear and Loathing to focus on while I lie there.

And I've had that sort of experience, too, albeit accidentally. There was a power outage, and when the power came back on circa 3:30 a.m., the CD player kicked on with Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor, about 5 inches from my head. There was a moment there when I actually was concerned that judgement day was at hand, but then I peeled myself off the ceiling and determined what actually had happened.

Re: Two questions

[gamera-spinning.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, the duration of CD play is closer to the duration of requests for sex than to the duration of alarm clock going off.

Well, you could always combine the two with a CD recording of people having sex, that would play as your alarm.

Come to think of it, that is less likely to get one out of bed.

Re: Two questions

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

There was a moment there when I actually was concerned that judgement day was at hand, but then I peeled myself off the ceiling and determined what actually had happened.

Oh, my. That really shouldn't be as funny as it is. My sympathies, dear. ;)

Car Bomb

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

I love that song.

[erusumbros.livejournal.com]

Let's see....

For a long while I would change out CD's in my Stereo which had a timer that could set it off in the morning.

By far, my favorite choice was to set the CD up to play "Speak to me/Breathe" from the "Dark Side of the Moon" CD.

Soft at first, then a shitload of alarm clocks going off. Sure to get you up and grooving.

My CD-player broke awhile back though in that stereo, so now I have the alarm go off at 6:33am to the Johnny Dare in the morning show on 98.9

We all do what we must!

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

You're hardcore, for lo, there is not a morning show in the metro that I could handle before being completely awake.
Also, while I can respect the Floyd choice, I'm thinking I want something ... grittier first thing. Meditative groove does not really occur until about 10:00.

[erusumbros.livejournal.com]

I'm either hardcore...or just that far gone.

I have woken up some mornings laughing as I come out of sleep hearing something about midget porn or someone getting their asshole bleached.

>:)

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Long before CD alarm clocks were invented, a friend of mine rigged his stereo in high school to play Sepultura's "Arise". I've always thought this would be a fine plan if I ever replaced my tape with a CD of that album.

timeline clarification, please

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

You're younger than me, and I remember CD alarm clocks when I was in high school. I think.

Re: timeline clarification, please

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Okay, before we knew they existed/could afford them, anyway; 1992 or so. Arise was released in 1991, so it can't have been any earlier than that. I guess CDs had been out for a while, but I hadn't transitioned yet at the time (also being in small-town Oklahoma at the time may have helped).

Re: timeline clarification, please

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

It's possible that my memory may be false. Objectively speaking, I know that I graduated from high school in 1989, and I received a Sony Discman as a graduation present, which makes me think there must have been alarm clocks.

[gamera-spinning.livejournal.com]

I used to employ a "beep beep" alarm that gradually rose in volume, but somewhere along the line I decided to change it to a sports talk radio station. I have little or no patience for that kind of chatter, so it usually only takes a moment for me to turn it off and get up.

[brandy22kc.livejournal.com]

I've got somthing simeral but it gets louder and the beep beep changes pace

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

There's Clocky, the hiding alarm clock (http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/household/clocky-rolling-alarm-clock-036052.php) as well, although I haven't made up my mind yet whether it'd be useful or just plain annoying.