Spam poetry: Phagocyte Referendum

[featherynscale]

Try uphold and harm not typic ! Toothpaste it yuki.
But cowman ! Printmake.
Not emmett , agony and media ! twentieth ! diocese may husbandry the beethoven ! acknowledge.
, behind not monarchic it's caroline a deluge
it's deep it cannot.
the procreate it extracellular but barbaric it laplacian ! correct some carcinogen try dulse.

in chisholm see linotype on bus the adage , wylie.
the preview on sightseer.
on gaul on earring and mahoney it bloodstone but popular may aquarius it's music a devious.
it brevity try crowberry be postscript the bray
be selenite be babylon.
the emblematic a chesapeake on tray try kiwi be beau it's skirt ! counterattack.
see parsnip , chemisorption ! phagocyte and referendum ! labyrinth. ! predisposition a incorrigible.
in domesday ! eider the clap be paulo not dwyer but protuberant the stableman or trodden.
on gad on blemish in pirate it electroencephalography
may colza may modal. see betty may homebuilding some sanitarium be harlem or miscellaneous it's deliquescent in krieger.

Comments

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

This is fun... I wish my spam made this much sense.

Poetry

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

Spammers didn't exist when Vogon poetry was named third-worst in the universe.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Date: Tue, 1 Jun 2004 09:24:21 -0700
From: "Shafer, Kelsey (SQH-10)" <keshafer@bham.wednet.edu>
Subject: BILLY LOXLY IS BAD!

Billy Loxly Continues His Streak
Oceania - Senyo Castelle
Seven-year-old Billy Loxly turns in yet another victim.

Next Tuesday marks the fifth week that young Billy Loxly of Oceania has been out on the prowl. At just seven years old, Loxly has turned in a remarkable eleven adults for their thoughtcrimes and is considered extremely dangerous. Two weeks ago today, Loxly turned in his father for considering a thought not in line with the principles of Ingsoc. Once the police arrived, Loxly's mother was taken away as well, leaving Billy responsible for the disappearances of both the Loxly adults. Billy Loxly's location is uncertain at this time, it seems as though after his last victim was turned in, just a mere day ago, that Billy has retreated into unidentified territory. Most likely Loxly will not stop at eleven and surely will appear again when one is least suspecting.

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

What????!!!!

Part I

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 19:15:53 -0800
From: St. Forrest Clinic <crgxwogsrcncax@colossus.net>
To: info@greek2me.com
Subject: Get your hookup on Tadalafil

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon. Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. No one can earn a million dollars honestly. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. Dancing is silent poetry. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. We have art to save ourselves from the truth. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Part II

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Who so loves believes the impossible. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. Give me a museum and I'll fill it. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. I'll sleep when I'm dead. If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless. His ignorance is encyclopedic The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. It's kind of fun to do the impossible. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. When ideas fail, words come in very handy. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. A witty saying proves nothing.

Part III

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. Everything has been figured out, except how to live. Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Wow.

Part A

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 09:34:46 -0800
From: St. Walter Clinic <czvov@rockynet.com>
To: info@greek2me.com
Subject: The lowest priced Viagra guaranteed

Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. In the end, everything is a gag. Luck is the residue of design. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together. If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies. We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough? Don't be so humble - you are not that great. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a shp, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Part B

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Specialization is for insects. Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. The Babylon project was our last, best hope for peace. .. It failed. .. But in the year of the Shadow war it became something greater: our last, best hope .. for victory. The year is 2260, the place: Babylon 5.Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today enjoy it and bless God for it. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you. Not because they are nice, but because you are. Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin. It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Part C

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows. Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. If you are going through hell, keep going. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Logic is in the eye of the logician.I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. I would have made a good Pope. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. You can widen your life by yourself, but to deepen it you need a friend. It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. The full use of your powers along lines of excellence. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances.

Re: Part C

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

Again, my spam is never this verbose or mind numbingly intersting... I usually just get Bart Simpson in nudie poses.

Re: Part C

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

I don't get stuff like this all the time - but if I bother opening it and it's something like this, I save it. Note the date stamps on these three.