Oh my various deities...

[featherynscale]

cadhla is my new hero, for lo, zie has brought forth the Commandments of Coyote (assuming of course, that Coyote would bother with telling you how to do anything before providing painful and interesting 'learning opportunities'...



I. Thou Shalt Have As Many Gods and Spirits and Personal Trainers and Gurus As You Like Before Me, But You Shalt Not Let Them Block the Exits, and More, You Shall Not Permit Them To Take the Last Beer, For That Beer Is Mine. Seriously. Don't.

II. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife, But Thou Art Totally Welcome To Admire Her Ass When She Walks By, and If It Happens To Come Out That They Are In An Open Relationship, Dude, Tap That Ass As Much As They Are Willing To Allow. Same Goes For the Ladies. Coveting Is Sort Of Stupid, But Sex Is Just Plain Fun, Unless Thou Art Doing It Entirely Wrong.

III. If Thy Neighbor Says 'Hands Off My Wife, Dude', Thou Shalt Listen and Back Off, Because Otherwise, Thy Neighbor Will Be Totally Justified In Hitting You About the Head and Shoulders With Gardening Tools, and Don't Think That I'm Going To Step In There and Stop Him.

IV. Adultery Is Actually Pretty Fun. Commit It All You Like. Just Make Sure Everyone Is Cool With It, Or I Will Not Help You Out Once the Hitting Gets Started.

V. Thou Shalt Not Eat Poisoned Bait. If You Do, Don't Come Whining To Me About It, Because I Am Very Unlikely To Care. Once It Is In Your Mouth, It Is Your Problem, Not Mine.

VI. Of Course Thou Shalt Kill. Carnivores Do That. Also, Swatting Mosquitoes, Sort Of Instinctive. But All Creatures Are Alive Before You Kill Them, and So Thou Shalt Respect Them In Their Lives and In Their Deaths. Thou Shalt Not Kill Without Reason. Thy Neighbor Tapping Thy Wife's Ass? Is Not A Reason. Don't Make Me Set A Plague Upon Thy Ass. Thou Wouldst Not Enjoy It, I Promise.

VII. Thou Shalt Not Hoard. Seriously, Here. If You Have Enough, Share. Only Asshats Bogart Life.

VIII. Thou Shalt Not Be A Martyr. If You Have One Beer, Drink It. Do Not Give It To Me and Then Expect Adoration. Dude, That Was Your Beer, I Did Not Break Your Arm To Get It. Give What You Can Give, and Expect Neither Praise Nor Worship. You Are Not Being Morally Superior, You Are Being A Decent Human Being. There Is A Difference.

VIV. Assume This Is It. Maybe There Is Reincarnation; Maybe Not. Not Only Am I Not Saying, Please Consider the Fact That I Probably Get A Say In Whether You Come Back, and If You Are the Sort Of Person Who Doesn't Do Anything With One Life, Why Should I Waste My Time Giving You Another One? Live Like You Get No Second Chances. You Will Have More Fun.

X. Are You Going To Eat That?

Really, it's the last one that makes it perfect.

Comments

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Can you do me a new owl-morphy icon thingie that makes me a barn owl?

Also, when you did the owl-morphy icon, you did it based on the interest "shapeshifting", yes? Why did you choose an owl? Just curious.

Mercy buckets, particularly.

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll see what I can come up with. It will have to wait until after work, though.

I think it was for the "shapeshifting" interest, but I can't be certain. As with the choice of owl, my reasons (if any) are lost in the mists of time.

Help! I'm being held hostage in a cliche factory! They say they won't let me go until Robert Frost is beatified.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I think he's already been Poet Laureate of the US -- you could probably argue for early release on those grounds.

And no rush at all -- thanks for the effort!

choice of interest, and choice of owl

[greektoomey.livejournal.com]

Why do you ask? Is it relevant to another interest?

Re: choice of interest, and choice of owl

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Well, I was trying to remember why you made the thing for me in the first place, and I thought it was in the "Make and icon for their interest" meme phase. So then, I assumed that I had 'owls' listed among my interests, except that I don't. So then I figured it had to be 'shapeshifting'.

The fact that it was an owl in absence of any stated interest in owls struck me, because my most significant invisible friend (for lack of a better term -- I suppose in the Jungian sense he represents my animus, or whatnot) is an owl. Or wears an owl mask, depending on what he's doing when I see him. But he's a barn owl, so I thought it would be neat to have a shot of me becoming him, or whatnot.