Language, gentlemen, please!

[featherynscale]

As it happens, this morning, I learned how to say "Plenty of cheese" in Gaelic. This joins a number of other odd phrases that I know in languages I don't speak. I mean, you learn things like 'yes', 'no', 'thank you', 'where's the bathroom', 'I don't speak your language', and 'I'd like a beer' as a matter of course, even if you never intend upon learning anything else in that language. But I, in my apparent quest for weird shit, have also learned to say things like:

• "Please stand clear of the doors" in Spanish
  
• "hedgehog" in Russian (thanks to kittenpants
  
• "My dear boy" in Welsh
  
• "Sheep with teeth" in Latin (thank you, Drix)
  
• "We wander around at night and are consumed by flames" in German (Thank you, Einsturzende Neubauten [who ought to have umlauts]
  

and other things of that nature.

I'm not counting anything odd I can say in French, since I'm fairly literate in French, and so odd phrases are more likely.

So then, what stupid things can you say in foreign languages you're not fluent in? Bonus points if the weird thing is the *only thing* you can say in that language. No points for "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me".

Comments

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

Okay, butchered phonic type spelling here (hukd on fonix)

Spekenze deutch (which no, I don't, at all)

And I can say a few things in sign from the class I took, though I've forgetten most of it. I can sign *f* you, the sexual version, not the insult.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I took some ASL in elementary school. I have also forgotten most of it. Most of what we learned, though, was sort of silly -- I mean, I learned the pledge of allegiance in sign, and a couple of pop songs. Today, I remember the alphabet, and so could fingerspell if I absolutely had to, and signs for words like "here" and "and" and "with"... nothing concrete really, just prepositions and pronouns. I did, however, much later learn to sign "lunch with a lesbian", for some reason.

So the sign for 'f you' -- does it look like what it is? I never learned that one :)

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

The reason our teacher taught us is, there is nice to meet you, with fingers together..top index and middle fingers together and up, both hands coming together, is meet...if they are doing the peace sign, it's sexual lol...
Zach took two semesters. He was going to minor in deaf interp so he took two semesters of sign, and deaf culture, but it was so hard to work it in with drafting he gave up.

Ausgezeichnet!

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Sprechen sie Deutsch? Und du bist richtig. Du kannst nicht. :-)

Re: Ausgezeichnet!

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

Not at all lol, uh.. what does that say lol?

Re: Ausgezeichnet!

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

It says, "And you're right. You can't." :-)

Re: Ausgezeichnet!

[beccak1961.livejournal.com]

lol!

[ex-clevergir259.livejournal.com]

"I wish that I was a cow, so that I could run in the pasture. Then I would get hoof-and-mouth disease, and I would be so happy!"

In halfassed phonetic Dutch:

"Ik wens dat ik een koe was, zo loptik in der vij. Dan krijkt ik mond-en-klauw sere, ik zou zijn dan zo blij!"

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Wow! That's fabulous. Big points, there.

[mildlyderanged.livejournal.com]

kleiner affe, or 'little monkey' (German) is popular 'round here.

We also greatly enjoy piecing together sentences about the cat in our feeble spanish: 'el gato es muy...malo?'. Etc.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I have a similar habit in Spanish -- I have the construction for "Where is...", so I do a lot of "Donde esta los pantalones?" "Donde esta mi cerveza?" etc. The nouns that I know are very few, though, so I think I can ask about the location of: my pants, the cat, my beer, the cockroach, the bathroom, and the door.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

And really, I ought to know the word for "monkey" in a lot more languages than I do...

monkey

[rfunk.livejournal.com]

In that case, go ahead and ask about the location of el mono.

Auf Deutsch

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

der Affe

[kcwitch.livejournal.com]

i can sing a whole song in chinese. i cannot write it out for you cuz i have no idea how to spell it right but translation is.
two tigers, two tigers
running very fast, running very fast
one without an ear, one without a tail
very strange, very strange.

my two cents

[maximumbob.livejournal.com]

I can only say two things in Russian: "Bring me a beer" (very useful!) and "My dick is very cold!" (not so useful) That last bit was for some reason (lost in the sands of time) is what we used to yell at the top of our lungs when night-snow skiing in Colorado. Which got us some strange looks, but none so strange as when I happened to yell it while I skiied past a Russian family on the slopes.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

I can still count from 1 to 5 in Turkish, after two decades or more gone from the country. Bir, Iki, Uch, Durt, Besh... (

I used to have a smattering of insults in Italian, because it's a handy language for insulting someone while sounding like you're complimenting them...but none are coming to mind.

Other than that, a minor collection of Spanish swear words and the like, but I probably know enough actual Spanish to disqualify me there. Ditto French.

Let me think.

[saffronhare.livejournal.com]

I can say "y'all" with proficiency.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

You should have also disqualifed, "Help! I have an axe in my head!"

At any rate, I have lingering remnants of my classes in French, German, Japanese and Irish running around in my head. Alongside of those are at least one cuss word in Russian, Spanish, Chinese, Vietnamese, Ameslan, and possibly Hebrew. For the last, I can at least dig up the email where I asked a very proper Israeli lady how to translate "chicken fucker" and wound up with a small lesson in Hebrew noun gendering and verb declension as well as the translation.

Yes, there was a good reason I had for wanting "chicken fucker" in Hebrew. Don't look at me like that.

[celticwhistlin.livejournal.com]

cerrunos learned this phrase from his Dad for use when he lived in Germany. I have attempted to spell is phonetically! ;-)

Au Fraulein, commen zie hier bita, mit der underhosen in der hand.

"Hey Lady, come here please, with your underwear in your hand."

I learned the Italian equivalent of gesundheit from a coworker: Kreshisan

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Terve! Kiitos kirjeesta. = Hello! Thank you for the letter.

That's the extent of my Finnish.

More useful Gaelic.

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

Tha mi a-staigh an-dràsta. Am bheil sin comhfhurtail?

Tha gu dearbh. Tapadh leibh.

Translation:
I am in now. Is that comfortable?

It certainly is. Thank you.

Re: More useful Gaelic.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

You're right -- that's much more useful!!

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know how to spell any of these so I will simply tell you in english what I know how to say and if you ever care to learn how to say them let me know....

I know two phrases in German: I'm a jelly donut and Flying shit

One phrase in French, which I'm sure everybody knows: Will you sleep with me tonight?

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I also know how to say I am a jelly donut and flying shit in German. Also, flying baby shit.
All of which are terribly useful phrases.

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

oooh, flying baby shit shista flagen baby? ;-)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

fliegende kinderscheisse.
I believe.
My spelling is not so much very good in any langauge but english and french.

[chainwoman.livejournal.com]

yah, i can only spell in english and spanish...

[shebangline.livejournal.com]

total livejournal driveby, hi. :D

i can say "you're at my place." in german and "i am not a cabbage." in french.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Fantastic. Is it that you can do the "I am not a cabbage" bit because you have inexplicably done the discordian initiation rite in French, or just because you have a need to explain your nonvegetableness to people in a number of countries?

Also, nice socks.