Stupid Poll Time!

For the past two days, I've not been around much anywhere because I've been in training sessions designed to help all of us poor soon-to-be-unemployed folks find a new job. So I've been trying to think of things that I might want to do next, and I was wondering if you kids in LJ-land could help me out. That would be the first question on the poll.

The other two are derived from random conversation from yesterday, and I thought they were amusing. Context can be provided if necessary. :)

[Poll #691426]

Stupid Poll Time!

For the past two days, I've not been around much anywhere because I've been in training sessions designed to help all of us poor soon-to-be-unemployed folks find a new job. So I've been trying to think of things that I might want to do next, and I was wondering if you kids in LJ-land could help me out. That would be the first question on the poll.

The other two are derived from random conversation from yesterday, and I thought they were amusing. Context can be provided if necessary. :)

[Poll #691426]

Bribery

I caught the meme tag from several people, so here we go.

"I am listing five particularly effective bribes. I'm not saying how they rank, or if they're necessarily the Most Effective, but there you go. The assumption stands that lots & lots of money is always a good bribe, though unimaginative, so it's left off the list. If you want to continue the senseless propagation of this idea, please post it in your journal, and all that rot."

- Sex. I'm not saying I'll accept this as a bribe from everybody, but if you're on the list of people I'm likely to have sex with, it's probably a good incentive to get me to do something.
- A good scotch. This, I will accept from anyone. And it's a little like sex. If you're bribing me with scotch, I have a strong preference for Lagavulin, if your bribery budget extends to that, or Jura's Superstition if it doesn't.
- Clove cigarettes (you smoke them, and I kiss you). I can't smoke these anymore, but I'm perfectly content to watch you smoke one and then steal the taste from you. It will be effective motivation, but may also induce some smoking-related whining and/or nostalgia.
- New and interesting cultural experiences. Concerts, shows, galleries, plays, films, restaraunts, whatever. If I've never been there/seen it/etc., it's likely to be enticing.
- Clean my house. I think everybody knows I don't like to do that.

Bribery

I caught the meme tag from several people, so here we go.

"I am listing five particularly effective bribes. I'm not saying how they rank, or if they're necessarily the Most Effective, but there you go. The assumption stands that lots & lots of money is always a good bribe, though unimaginative, so it's left off the list. If you want to continue the senseless propagation of this idea, please post it in your journal, and all that rot."

- Sex. I'm not saying I'll accept this as a bribe from everybody, but if you're on the list of people I'm likely to have sex with, it's probably a good incentive to get me to do something.
- A good scotch. This, I will accept from anyone. And it's a little like sex. If you're bribing me with scotch, I have a strong preference for Lagavulin, if your bribery budget extends to that, or Jura's Superstition if it doesn't.
- Clove cigarettes (you smoke them, and I kiss you). I can't smoke these anymore, but I'm perfectly content to watch you smoke one and then steal the taste from you. It will be effective motivation, but may also induce some smoking-related whining and/or nostalgia.
- New and interesting cultural experiences. Concerts, shows, galleries, plays, films, restaraunts, whatever. If I've never been there/seen it/etc., it's likely to be enticing.
- Clean my house. I think everybody knows I don't like to do that.