Some people have skills, some people ... thingy.

[featherynscale]

On the recent library excursion, I picked up one of the Dresden Files books. These are the stories of a Chicago wizard-for-hire who presumably hunts down demons and evildoers and smites them in a way not entirely unlike any hardboiled detective, except with magic. I think that's what they're about, anyway. The book I'm reading is like book 7 of a series, or something, and I'm only about a fourth of the way in.

Anyway, it strikes me reading this, that the author uses a lot of slang words that I thought were pretty localized to the Kansas City folks I hang out with. And lo, the book bio reveals that he lives in Independence. So I'm looking at this picture, trying to work out whether or not this guy is somebody we know. I'm telling triadruid about it this morning, and he asks what the guy looks like. I'm like, "Like somebody we'd know. Medium-to-heavy build, long dark hair, dressed in black, little silver glasses, serious expression. You know, like half the world's pagans/fantasy lit fans." He says, "Let kittenpants take a look at it. She's better at recognizing people than I am. And I think I'm better than you are."

I consider this for a moment. I rapidly come to the conclusion that a half-dead monkey would be better at recognizing people by their faces than I am. I recognize people by style of dress, general body shape, and coloration. I'm pretty good with voices, but faces? I'm crap at faces. Cut and color your hair, and I won't recognize you for minutes. Lose a lot of weight, gain a lot of weight, I will have no idea who you are until you speak. Suddenly opt for a different subculture's clothing style, and even if I saw you yesterday, I won't be able to parse who you are without a serious evaluation of the circumstances.

I've always been bad at this. I suspect that it is part of the reason why my preference in film is mostly for comic book adaptations -- if all the characters are dressed in different and outlandish costumes, it's much easier to sort out which one's doing what. Give me a film about WWII, where all the characters are wearing US Army uniforms with helmets, and are covered in dirt or camo makeup, and I'm totally lost.

Once upon a time, when I was in college, I worked in a mall information booth. Directly across from my booth was a booth for Godiva chocolates. I knew most of the people that worked there, and there was one of the bunch that I had gone out with a few times, that I had in fact, slept with. One day, this fellow who had been a blonde came in with a new purple dye job. I'm sitting in my little booth saying to my co-worker, "Who's the new chocolate guy? He's kind of cute!". She's rolling her eyes as if to say, "Dumbass, you slept with that guy." So that's no good.

There are, of course, a few exceptions. I'm pretty confident, for example, that I could correctly pick triadruid and kittenpants out in any visual field, even if they were to, say, suddenly shave their heads and don Dick Tracy yellow trenchcoats. I'm pretty sure that I could pick Johnny Depp out of a lineup (I have a vague suspicion that I like him above all other actors because he's easy for me to recognize, but I can't be sure). I can often, but not always, recognize my mother from haircut to haircut. I don't always recognize myself in pictures.

So I'm thinking that if I were ever called upon to provide details on a suspect for a police sketch artist, that's one bastard who's getting away. I'd be able to describe every detail of his outfit, what he was carrying, and so on and so forth, but I'd be shocked if I could get beyond color of hair and number of eyes, otherwise.