Most fucked up dream ever

[featherynscale]

In this dream, I am somehow contracted to act in a production of some sort of Tolkien story that happens after the end of the Lord of the Rings storyline. I seem to be Galadriel, or some other important chick in a dress. It's a little hard to say. We're filming in a deserted castle that may or may not be the odd replica castle along US 1 between Jacksonville and St. Augustine. Somewhere, about 9 months ago, I had been at a party. And at this party, I had been very drunk. And while I was drunk, I had a conversation in which someone asked me if I was pregnant, and I had either told them yes or not denied it vehemently enough, and so, the rumor spread throughout the world that I was pregnant. It is important to the story to note that I was not pregnant at all, but people kept saying I was. I got the part anyway, because the filming wasn't scheduled to start until after I had given birth, and that seemed to be okay. So I show up at the film set, having forgotten all this pregnancy conversation, and they ask me if I'd had the kid. I am confused, and I say "No, what are you talking about?" So then, everyone is very concerned, and they're trying to force me into labor. Note that I am *still* not pregnant, nor have I ever been. I am, in fact, on the rag in the dream. I try to tell people this, but nobody believes me. They put me in a quiet bedroom to have the baby. I sit on the bed and wonder exactly what it is that I'm supposed to do. I wonder if maybe there really is a baby, and I just hadn't noticed it. This seems unlikely, but everyone has been doing a thorough job of telling me that there is, so I become uncertain. opaljax is there in some sort of advisory position. Eventually, Kryn comes in - I know it is Kryn, even though it doesn't look much like Kryn, but I hear she's lost a lot of weight and dyed her hair red, so that seems to be okay. I tell her about the whole rumor and bizarre insistence thing, and she's like, "Well, I don't know. I suppose I could check for you." And I ask her what that means, and she says something like, "Well, if you were ready to drop a baby, I'd be able to put my hand up inside your vagina and feel a head, right? So I'll check." I seem to be okay with this as a course of action on several levels. opaljax approves, but doesn't seem to get the subtext, so it is explained to her, and she gets all flustered and leaves. From there, it gets all NC-17, but in the end, I seem to be right. And I'm okay with that.