Monster Medicine, or, Why I Don't Get To Write for Pagan Publications.

[featherynscale]

I was having a conversation with druidevo in which I was pointing out that I am easily the only pagan on the planet who doesn't have a totem animal. Oh, sure, I like birds and dogs and foxes and things, and if pressed, I can probably give you at least one way in which I am like any animal you care to name, but I don't have any special relationship with any of them. I can probably also give you at least one reason that I'm like any given car, or breakfast cereal, too. That doesn't really mean anything.

Now, druidevo was not buying this story. He says, "You do too have a totem. Hello, monster." And I thought, "Hrm. Is monster a totem? Monster's sort of, well, unnatural for a guiding nature spirit, isn't it? But hell, maybe that works. I don't know."

So I'm thinking about the whole business. The totem thing is rooted in identification, which is to say that the person who has the totem thinks of themselves as being like the totem in some significant ways, but also about guidance, which is to say that the person who has the totem feels that they are being taught important things by observation of the totem. I am certainly like a monster. That part's easy. But what, if anything does monster teach?

1. Not everything fits neatly into one of any given set of pigeonholes. Some things are built haphazardly from a motley collection of organs and systems. And really, isn't that more interesting and impressive?

2. Think long term and practice patience. When you can sleep beneath the vasty deeps for aeons uncounted, or survive for hundreds of years in remote arctic research facilities, before emerging again into the daylight of human consciousness, you understand that not everything has to happen right at this very moment.

3. Sometimes, you have to rampage in order to get what you need. Had Frankenstein's monster stayed quietly in the castle minding his own business, the doctor would never have needed to build him a Bride to placate him.

4. Looks can be deceiving. Gamera, despite his fearsome appearance, is a friend to children everywhere.

5. Never accept limitations. There's always something out there that you can use to rebuild, enhance, or mutate yourself into a more capable form.

6. Be adaptable. Really, where would The Blob have been if it could only engulf and eat a limited range of Earth substances?

And of course:

7. History shows again and again how Nature points up the folly of men. Godzilla!

So there you are, seven valuable lessons from monster. Now, you might also say that monster runs rampant all over everything, indiscriminately killing everything it encounters, and doing vast amounts of damage to perfectly innocent superstructures. You would, of course, be correct, but hey. Crows steal shiny things, wolves terrify the populace, and bears shit in the woods, but you don't hear anybody bringing that stuff up in totem discussions, do you?

Comments

[ruisseau.livejournal.com]

You may think this is goofy but I see how you emulate or work to emulate many of these qualities. So, nyah, or something. . .

Also, #7 is awesome.

[lilia-blackbear.livejournal.com]

Using Frankenstein's monster as an example is fabulous actually. The guy was actually incredibly intelligent (he teaches himself to cook, read, talk, find shelter, find clothes, and even learns to love), and only turned into a murderous villain when Frankenstein ran and hid like a sissy and wouldn't make him a wife. I mean, people have to go through lots of peer and therapist help for life after being abandoned by their fathers and then told that they are nothing but awful daemons once they find them. And then shunned from society, beat up by those they have been helping survive. There's a tremendous amount to learn from that particular monster.

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. Interesting. Have you ever done a vision quest to allow your totem to contact you? My impression has always been that the totem selects the person, not the other way around...

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Awesome. I bet Oak Leaves would print it.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Yes, but without any particular or staying result. I get either lots of different animals that don't stick around, or a very animal-free experience. I'm really not that kind of pagan, I guess. :)

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Nyah, indeed. *grin*

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

How much you want to bet? :)

[zylch.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I would have more totem luck if I inquired among the breakfast cereals.

[arkhamrefugee.livejournal.com]

Gamera is really neat!
Gamera's made of turtle meat!
YAAAAAY! GAH-MUR-AAAAAAAH!

[auraseer.livejournal.com]

Monster's sort of, well, unnatural for a guiding nature spirit, isn't it?

I like to argue the opposite of this point. Monsters may be called "unnatural," but really, everything that exists is part of nature. Labelling some creature as outside nature would be nonsensical to me, in the same way it's nonsense to claim organic food as 'chemical free.' (Protein is a chemical. So is water.)

The Blob would likely have been a perfectly normal life form on its home planet. Our not having seen it before may make it unexpected, unfamiliar, or uncontrollable, but not unnatural.

Even human-created monsters, like ol' Frankie or the atomic mutant Kaiju, tend to represent nature in their movies. They're primal forces that can't be restrained despite their creators' best efforts. Blue Öyster Cult was on to something here. =B^)

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

Could be worse; last time I tried, I got a cloud of gnats circling around my head. Haven't tried since; afraid I'd end up with Slug as my totem.

[zylch.livejournal.com]

Slug is my copilot!

[fionnabhar.livejournal.com]

I have dibs on Alpha-Bits, natch.

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

[grin] Yeah, if my totem came from Ursula's head, I'd be a happy man. Wombat would be my preferred choice...

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Of course. zylch is more like Ezekiel 4:9, except less Christian.

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

I was eventually swayed to this point of view, partially because of my feelings about technological entities, but mostly because of Blue Oyster Cult.

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

Loved this. OK to pimp via Twitter?

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Sure, I'll even unlock the post, and everything. :)

[lupabitch.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* I tend to take a more liberal view of totemism--fantastic critters, extinct ones, microscopic ones--they can all fill that role. So it's not so weird to me.

Crows steal shiny things, wolves terrify the populace, and bears shit in the woods, but you don't hear anybody bringing that stuff up in totem discussions, do you?

Ha. Check out totemists sometime. Some of us are quite aware that our totems aren't all Bambi-fied ;)

[uberreiniger.livejournal.com]

Conversely, I'm the only Christian *with* a totem animal. At least I've considered it in the past. I think it's the owl. Wise and cautious, and pukes up bones and fur.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

I'll place a year's subscription to OL on the table.

Whatcha got?

[featherynscale.livejournal.com]

Why should I bet for that, when you already get it? :-P

[catvincent.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[crookedface.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! There goes Tokyo! Go, go, Godzilla!

I have a friend from long ago who thinks of me every time he hears that song.

I have no totem, nor any interest in every finding one. As the pantheon/culture to which I've been recently drawn has no such concept (AFAIK), and I don't think such fits in with the postmodern development of my expression of said ancient religion, I don't see it ever being a possibility, either.

I just can't seem to get in the mainstream of the Pagan movement, I guess. ;-D

[opaljax.livejournal.com]

Until very recently I did not have a totem animal either. And. . . "Kitty!"

[malvito.livejournal.com]

I've never accepted that Gamera was truly a friend to the bratty little wretches in his movies. I always thought he was attempting to lull them into a false sense of security so that they would get close enough that he could roast them with his fiery breath and dine on their flaming corpses.

[crookedface.livejournal.com]

How do you manage to always find the evil lurking in everything....um, never mind.

;-b