LJ-Balderdash: Pure Eeeville Voting
May. 23rd, 2007 04:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
featherynscaleWho is that masked man?
The answers are in, choose which one you think is correct. There is indeed a correct answer within the mounds of steaming monkey poop served up below the cut, choose it, and a point shall be yours. Since I didn't get to putting this up this morning, the deadline for voting shall be Friday morning. Oh yeah, don't vote for your answer, yo.
1. The Red-headed Stepchild - A life of crime was not far behind his mother's 7th remarriage, especially after an unfortunate run in with his first step father's cordless drill that was hooked to his 3rd step father's riding crop. The 18-volt cordless whipping utility backed him into his 6th stepfather's container of leftover oil, antifreeze and other fluids from routine car maintenance. As he emerged dripping from the vat he swore to never be beaten again. A strange thing happened that day, but this isn't the story of old man McCluskie.
The Red-headed Stepchild has the uncanny ability to never be exactly where you thought he was especially when you are trying to hit him. He can never be touched by anyone attempting to harm him. This would prove to be an unstoppable trait if he were smart or ambitious as is he merely robs thrift stores and the occasional consignment shop.
2. Raggedy Andy (the cloth golem) was set on the path of eeev-illlle when his original mistress was killed by an improperly heat-treated smallpox vaccine at the tender age of 13 years.
With the double onset of puberty and death, she was at the height of her powers and the world would never be the same.
-
In her last feverish throes, Marcella Gruelle instructed Andy to do two things.
(1) Protect all her toys.
(2) Take care of her father.
-
...This did not turn out well...
Remembering another fevered statement that all the toys in the world were hers, Andy began to steal every toy he can find and bring them back to her gravesite.
Raggedy Ann and Andy were used as powerful symbols by the early anti-vaccination movement starting in the 1920's and this only added to the power of the rogue golem.
The most macabre twist was when her Marcella's father tried to stop the cloth golem in 1938. No-one still alive (excepting Raggedy Andy himself) witnessed the final battle over Marcella's graveside, surrounded by over a decade of rotting toys strewn across the graveyard.
The mold and rot made each toy a mockery of happiness and play.
After the last of the fake fur, cloth, and stuffing flew, Andy was still barely "alive" and covered in the blood of Johnny Gruelle. He then followed the last instruction to "take care" of Marcella's Father.
Absorbing the last of Johnny Gruelle's lifeforce, Andy gained some greater appearance of life and humanity, and a strong resemblance to Johnny Gruelle.
With his new human appearance, Andy was able to pass as Johnny, and continued on his mission.
While still collecting toys for the grave of his mistress, he discovered he was also able to prolong his own life by continuing to write more children's books about himself.
If you look Andy up in wikipedia, you'll find traces of this tale, including that New Raggedy Ann and Andy stories were published under Johnny's name for 40 more years after the reports of his death. Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raggedy_Ann
"It appears that many books were released and credited to Johnny Gruelle after his death, regardless of who actually wrote and illustrated them."
The current whereabouts of Raggedy Andy are unknown.
3. He was called 'The Toymaker', and was a featured villain in the very late days of the Little Orphan Annie comics. This was still very early in the comic time line, so the concept of a villain that turned out to be related to the main character was still fresh, and the Toymaker is credited as being the first, though that is heavily disputed. He is otherwise noteworthy for the line, "That's what you think, Annie, I am your Father!" from issue #23, which is often used as a basis when discussing the George Lucas and his penchant for plagiarism.
4. Evil Andy is the name and evil is his game. Raggedy Andy's tragic fall from childhood companion to super villain Evil Andy is a sad tale and was, of course, Raggedy Ann's fault. The downfall of all great men is a woman.
Raggedy Ann and Andy were great friends and lovers. Then one day, Ann caught Andy checking out Strawberry Shortcake's cake. Ann was furious and swore that she would make Andy pay but only if he transgressed with Miss Shortcake. She brewed a potion that would turn Andy evil if he ingested it. Lets just say, she gave some lovely foot cream to Shortcake. You know Andy and his foot fetish.
Evil Andy's power is super speed.
5. It's The Toyman, an old Action Comics villain and sometimes foe of Superman, among others. He's made a few DC Comics appearances too, but he's probably most remembered by folks today for his role in the Legion of Doom on the cartoon show Superfriends. He uses some truly dastardly toys to cause havoc for our super hero friends, as much for his own amusement than to actually accomplish anything truly nefarious.
6. This is "The Red Chia Pet", the demon offspring of The Riddler and a mutated potted plant of Poison Ivy's. His powers include a remarkable stand-up imitation of The Jolly Green Giant, ability to bag groceries in a single swipe AND have a kick-ass knife/web combination be able to come out of the back of his foot to ward off anyone giving pursuit.
His plans, however, get foiled when his grocery job cuts his hours and he doesn't have enough money for a haircut - at that point his vision is rendered useless and he can only grin maniacally, which fools no-one except for that putz Aquaman.
7. This is the Dollmaker, a delinquent elf fired from Santa's workshop who turns people into toys with his elf magic and sells them for profit.
8. Rag Doll - a foe of Golden Age Flash. Peter Merkel, a native of the Midwestern United States, was born with a unique condition: "Triple-jointedness". Like the more common "double-jointedness', Merkel's condition was characterized by extremely extensible ligaments and tendons, though to a significantly extended degree. The son of a side-show barker, Merkel found work in a small local carnival as a contortionist and eccentric dancer. In the early 1940s, the carnival fell on hard times and Merkel found himself out of work. Wandering the streets, Merkel despaired of having money. Seeing large boxes of toys being loaded into a department store, Merkel hit on the idea of hiding himself in one of the large rag dolls and then robbing the store after closing. Going unnoticed among the toys, Merkel carried his idea one step further: He would rob while still hidden in the Rag Doll suit. In these earliest days of costumed villains, the idea seemed novel and Merkel decided that no one would believe that a Rag Doll could commit crime.
9. This is 'Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum', a minor villain from the British comic 'Eagle', circa 1964. "Feef", as he was known to his few fans, appeared in the strip 'Empire Defenders'. The Defenders spaceship had crashed into a Galactic Beanstalk (issue 72) and had to raid Feef's domain for Quadrillium gems to effect repairs. Feef discovered them and carried them off to his pantry (issue 73, as illustrated). In issue 74, Feef actually ate the sidekick robot butler Tin Gerald - only for Gerald to kill Feef by forcing his way out of his ear. Feef's last words were, "I hear the sound of some English Tin..."
10.It was sad day for poor Raggedy Ann. Her creator, Johnny Gruelle, who invented her in 1918, had been besieged by copyright infringements since the creation of his whimsical, red-headed characters. But this. This was going too far.
In 1954, EC Comics' Mad magazine published a strip by Harvey Kurtzman about a satirical character named Rotteny Andy. An alter-ego of the traditional overall-ed little boy, Rotteny Andy was created by an evil Russian mastermind who brainwashed American toys and forced them into a sort of Fifth Column to subvert the minds of American boys and girls to gain Communist sympathy. Just take a peek under Rotteny Andy's regulation khaki overall: there is no heart embroidered on his little pink chest.
After the appearance of the "Toy Comrades" strip, Gruelle's estate sued EC Comics for copyright infringement and defamation. Because Mad is a satire, the lawsuit was unsuccessful, but so was the strip, so Kurtzman never ran a second one. He told newspapers at the time, "It was stupid idea anyway."
11. Prop Master aka The Carrot Top of Earth-3: In the parallel universe where Superman smokes kryptonite like crack, Batman is the crime boss of Gotham City and Mother Teresa was a homicidal dominatrix comes The Prop Master!
While sitting in the audience to a Gallagher show (in this upside down universe Gallagher was actually funny) a young aspiring comic was exposed to the by product of a deadly (but never the less hilarious) sight gag gone wrong. The result was a hideous transformation into a deformed looking Raggedy Anne & Andy Doll. Now while horrible accidents that turn you into a deformed looking clown or a guy with half a face are quite frightening, looking like a muppet on steroids however is not. Shunned (by which I mean largely ignored when not actively ridiculed) by society (and not actually having any marketable job skills to speak of) the young unknown comic vowed vengeance on a society that found him mildly amusing but vaguely disturbing and thus was born the... PROP MASTER.
The Prop Master possesses a series of pain inducing puns and a series of Trick Props each more deadly (and less inspired) than the last to strike fear into the... well whoever’s pissed him off this week to be honest. The truth is that most of the props were originally bought by the Silver Age Villain - the Human Hoak (which the PM bought on E-bay recently): Known props include an Inter-Net (an electrified net he throws over opponents), a smoking monkey that emits a poisonous cloud, a perpetually pecking wooden bird that can 'peck' through solid steel, 'beer goggles' which allows anyone who looks into his eyes to appear beautiful and other items considered by the authorities to be 'a buncha worthless shit'.
Briefly he worked with the Anti-Santa as one of his 'demented little helpers' until his villain card was pulled for not paying union dues.
12. He is obviously Santa Claus's insane half brother, Insanity Claus.
Where did he come from? Well, when a daddy Claus loves Mrs. Claus very much, he gives her a special present. Sadly, Mrs. Claus was also getting special presents from a very bad red-headed elf, Blazing Flamer.
His special powers are coming through the chimney on Dec. 26, stealing batteries, breaking toys, loosening bolts that caregivers spent all night tightening, so toys fall apart. He also steals good boys and girls and takes them home to be his special slaves.
13. The fellow in the picture above is Ruggedy Andy, a genetically-engineered giant created by Mister Sinister to distract and capture some of the X-Men for Mister Sinister's experiments.
As you'd expect, Ruggedy Andy has a sister, Ruggedy Annie. They both have curly red hair, and clownish features with round red noses. Obvious parodies of Raggedy Ann and Andy, there were some cease-and-desist letters sent to Marvel Comics, but eventually, the courts ruled that the copyright had not been violated, with the name and costume changes on the Marvel characters.
The answers are in, choose which one you think is correct. There is indeed a correct answer within the mounds of steaming monkey poop served up below the cut, choose it, and a point shall be yours. Since I didn't get to putting this up this morning, the deadline for voting shall be Friday morning. Oh yeah, don't vote for your answer, yo.
1. The Red-headed Stepchild - A life of crime was not far behind his mother's 7th remarriage, especially after an unfortunate run in with his first step father's cordless drill that was hooked to his 3rd step father's riding crop. The 18-volt cordless whipping utility backed him into his 6th stepfather's container of leftover oil, antifreeze and other fluids from routine car maintenance. As he emerged dripping from the vat he swore to never be beaten again. A strange thing happened that day, but this isn't the story of old man McCluskie.
The Red-headed Stepchild has the uncanny ability to never be exactly where you thought he was especially when you are trying to hit him. He can never be touched by anyone attempting to harm him. This would prove to be an unstoppable trait if he were smart or ambitious as is he merely robs thrift stores and the occasional consignment shop.
2. Raggedy Andy (the cloth golem) was set on the path of eeev-illlle when his original mistress was killed by an improperly heat-treated smallpox vaccine at the tender age of 13 years.
With the double onset of puberty and death, she was at the height of her powers and the world would never be the same.
-
In her last feverish throes, Marcella Gruelle instructed Andy to do two things.
(1) Protect all her toys.
(2) Take care of her father.
-
...This did not turn out well...
Remembering another fevered statement that all the toys in the world were hers, Andy began to steal every toy he can find and bring them back to her gravesite.
Raggedy Ann and Andy were used as powerful symbols by the early anti-vaccination movement starting in the 1920's and this only added to the power of the rogue golem.
The most macabre twist was when her Marcella's father tried to stop the cloth golem in 1938. No-one still alive (excepting Raggedy Andy himself) witnessed the final battle over Marcella's graveside, surrounded by over a decade of rotting toys strewn across the graveyard.
The mold and rot made each toy a mockery of happiness and play.
After the last of the fake fur, cloth, and stuffing flew, Andy was still barely "alive" and covered in the blood of Johnny Gruelle. He then followed the last instruction to "take care" of Marcella's Father.
Absorbing the last of Johnny Gruelle's lifeforce, Andy gained some greater appearance of life and humanity, and a strong resemblance to Johnny Gruelle.
With his new human appearance, Andy was able to pass as Johnny, and continued on his mission.
While still collecting toys for the grave of his mistress, he discovered he was also able to prolong his own life by continuing to write more children's books about himself.
If you look Andy up in wikipedia, you'll find traces of this tale, including that New Raggedy Ann and Andy stories were published under Johnny's name for 40 more years after the reports of his death. Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raggedy_Ann
"It appears that many books were released and credited to Johnny Gruelle after his death, regardless of who actually wrote and illustrated them."
The current whereabouts of Raggedy Andy are unknown.
3. He was called 'The Toymaker', and was a featured villain in the very late days of the Little Orphan Annie comics. This was still very early in the comic time line, so the concept of a villain that turned out to be related to the main character was still fresh, and the Toymaker is credited as being the first, though that is heavily disputed. He is otherwise noteworthy for the line, "That's what you think, Annie, I am your Father!" from issue #23, which is often used as a basis when discussing the George Lucas and his penchant for plagiarism.
4. Evil Andy is the name and evil is his game. Raggedy Andy's tragic fall from childhood companion to super villain Evil Andy is a sad tale and was, of course, Raggedy Ann's fault. The downfall of all great men is a woman.
Raggedy Ann and Andy were great friends and lovers. Then one day, Ann caught Andy checking out Strawberry Shortcake's cake. Ann was furious and swore that she would make Andy pay but only if he transgressed with Miss Shortcake. She brewed a potion that would turn Andy evil if he ingested it. Lets just say, she gave some lovely foot cream to Shortcake. You know Andy and his foot fetish.
Evil Andy's power is super speed.
5. It's The Toyman, an old Action Comics villain and sometimes foe of Superman, among others. He's made a few DC Comics appearances too, but he's probably most remembered by folks today for his role in the Legion of Doom on the cartoon show Superfriends. He uses some truly dastardly toys to cause havoc for our super hero friends, as much for his own amusement than to actually accomplish anything truly nefarious.
6. This is "The Red Chia Pet", the demon offspring of The Riddler and a mutated potted plant of Poison Ivy's. His powers include a remarkable stand-up imitation of The Jolly Green Giant, ability to bag groceries in a single swipe AND have a kick-ass knife/web combination be able to come out of the back of his foot to ward off anyone giving pursuit.
His plans, however, get foiled when his grocery job cuts his hours and he doesn't have enough money for a haircut - at that point his vision is rendered useless and he can only grin maniacally, which fools no-one except for that putz Aquaman.
7. This is the Dollmaker, a delinquent elf fired from Santa's workshop who turns people into toys with his elf magic and sells them for profit.
8. Rag Doll - a foe of Golden Age Flash. Peter Merkel, a native of the Midwestern United States, was born with a unique condition: "Triple-jointedness". Like the more common "double-jointedness', Merkel's condition was characterized by extremely extensible ligaments and tendons, though to a significantly extended degree. The son of a side-show barker, Merkel found work in a small local carnival as a contortionist and eccentric dancer. In the early 1940s, the carnival fell on hard times and Merkel found himself out of work. Wandering the streets, Merkel despaired of having money. Seeing large boxes of toys being loaded into a department store, Merkel hit on the idea of hiding himself in one of the large rag dolls and then robbing the store after closing. Going unnoticed among the toys, Merkel carried his idea one step further: He would rob while still hidden in the Rag Doll suit. In these earliest days of costumed villains, the idea seemed novel and Merkel decided that no one would believe that a Rag Doll could commit crime.
9. This is 'Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum', a minor villain from the British comic 'Eagle', circa 1964. "Feef", as he was known to his few fans, appeared in the strip 'Empire Defenders'. The Defenders spaceship had crashed into a Galactic Beanstalk (issue 72) and had to raid Feef's domain for Quadrillium gems to effect repairs. Feef discovered them and carried them off to his pantry (issue 73, as illustrated). In issue 74, Feef actually ate the sidekick robot butler Tin Gerald - only for Gerald to kill Feef by forcing his way out of his ear. Feef's last words were, "I hear the sound of some English Tin..."
10.It was sad day for poor Raggedy Ann. Her creator, Johnny Gruelle, who invented her in 1918, had been besieged by copyright infringements since the creation of his whimsical, red-headed characters. But this. This was going too far.
In 1954, EC Comics' Mad magazine published a strip by Harvey Kurtzman about a satirical character named Rotteny Andy. An alter-ego of the traditional overall-ed little boy, Rotteny Andy was created by an evil Russian mastermind who brainwashed American toys and forced them into a sort of Fifth Column to subvert the minds of American boys and girls to gain Communist sympathy. Just take a peek under Rotteny Andy's regulation khaki overall: there is no heart embroidered on his little pink chest.
After the appearance of the "Toy Comrades" strip, Gruelle's estate sued EC Comics for copyright infringement and defamation. Because Mad is a satire, the lawsuit was unsuccessful, but so was the strip, so Kurtzman never ran a second one. He told newspapers at the time, "It was stupid idea anyway."
11. Prop Master aka The Carrot Top of Earth-3: In the parallel universe where Superman smokes kryptonite like crack, Batman is the crime boss of Gotham City and Mother Teresa was a homicidal dominatrix comes The Prop Master!
While sitting in the audience to a Gallagher show (in this upside down universe Gallagher was actually funny) a young aspiring comic was exposed to the by product of a deadly (but never the less hilarious) sight gag gone wrong. The result was a hideous transformation into a deformed looking Raggedy Anne & Andy Doll. Now while horrible accidents that turn you into a deformed looking clown or a guy with half a face are quite frightening, looking like a muppet on steroids however is not. Shunned (by which I mean largely ignored when not actively ridiculed) by society (and not actually having any marketable job skills to speak of) the young unknown comic vowed vengeance on a society that found him mildly amusing but vaguely disturbing and thus was born the... PROP MASTER.
The Prop Master possesses a series of pain inducing puns and a series of Trick Props each more deadly (and less inspired) than the last to strike fear into the... well whoever’s pissed him off this week to be honest. The truth is that most of the props were originally bought by the Silver Age Villain - the Human Hoak (which the PM bought on E-bay recently): Known props include an Inter-Net (an electrified net he throws over opponents), a smoking monkey that emits a poisonous cloud, a perpetually pecking wooden bird that can 'peck' through solid steel, 'beer goggles' which allows anyone who looks into his eyes to appear beautiful and other items considered by the authorities to be 'a buncha worthless shit'.
Briefly he worked with the Anti-Santa as one of his 'demented little helpers' until his villain card was pulled for not paying union dues.
12. He is obviously Santa Claus's insane half brother, Insanity Claus.
Where did he come from? Well, when a daddy Claus loves Mrs. Claus very much, he gives her a special present. Sadly, Mrs. Claus was also getting special presents from a very bad red-headed elf, Blazing Flamer.
His special powers are coming through the chimney on Dec. 26, stealing batteries, breaking toys, loosening bolts that caregivers spent all night tightening, so toys fall apart. He also steals good boys and girls and takes them home to be his special slaves.
13. The fellow in the picture above is Ruggedy Andy, a genetically-engineered giant created by Mister Sinister to distract and capture some of the X-Men for Mister Sinister's experiments.
As you'd expect, Ruggedy Andy has a sister, Ruggedy Annie. They both have curly red hair, and clownish features with round red noses. Obvious parodies of Raggedy Ann and Andy, there were some cease-and-desist letters sent to Marvel Comics, but eventually, the courts ruled that the copyright had not been violated, with the name and costume changes on the Marvel characters.
