Lemming of the day

[featherynscale]

If I were a stone, I would be: rich red garnet
If I were a tree, I would be: a willow
If I were a bird, I would be: a crow
If I were a machine, I would be: a camera
If I were a tool, I would be: rosary pliers
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: moonflower
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: heat lightning
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: a naga, or a sphinx
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a cello
If I were an animal, I would be a: small black cat, unless I were a constrictor snake
If I were a color, I would be: black watch green
If I were an emotion, I would be: curiosity
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a mushroom (they're *like* vegetables)
If I were a sound, I would be: indistinct chanting from far away
If I were an Element, I would be: mercury
If I were a car, I would be: a volvo 240, late 80s, black or dark blue, diesel.
If I were a song, I would be: I'm afraid I'd be "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" by Tom Lehrer
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: nobody - partially because I like where I am, and partially because I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, since no one else is likely to appreciate it in the way I do.
If I were a movie, I would be: I don't know, but when I grow up I want to be Tank Girl
If I were a food, I would be: cayenne pepper brownies
If I were a place, I would be: the kitchen
If I were a material, I would be: plush velvet
If I were a taste, I would be: spice, like in chai tea
If I were a religion, I would be: hasidic druidry
If I were a word, I would be: polymorphous
If I were an object, I would be: a laboratory apparatus with lots of pipes and tubes and dripping water - hrm... perhaps that's a bong... never mind.
If I were a body part I would be: the mouth
If I were a facial expression I would be: the sort of one eyebrow raised, amused face
If I were a subject in school I would be: psychology
If I were a cartoon character I would be: the Cheshire Cat
If I were a shape I would be : a moebius strip
If I were a number I would be: 358
If I were a month I would be: September
If I were a day of the week I would be: Sunday
If I were a time of day I would be: about 11:00 p.m.
If I were a direction I would be: east
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a papasan chair
If I were a sin I would be: heresy, or impure thoughts
If I were a historical figure I would be: Hypatia
If I were a liquid I would be: blackberry mead
If I were a method of death I would be: autoerotic asphyxiation