featherynscale | So there was this thing, with the escalation of awfulness...

So the other day, I was reading

ursulav, who was talking about how people continually compare her art to Labyrinth, which she doesn't care for. Some clever bugger in the comments directed her to this essay, which purports to enlighten us on the Christian symbolism in Labyrinth. Now, I like symbolism as much as the next guy, so what did I do? I clicked the Internet, which by now we all know is a poor idea.

Now, for the rest of this to make any sense, you're going to have to read the damned thing. Or at least skim it. Go ahead, click it. I'll wait.

OK, done? So here's my question: Serious or Satire? Points in favor of Seriousness: writer leads off with desire to quit web for Jesus, writer displays little to no knowledge of Christianity, or vaginas. Points in favor of Satire: archived on a humor site (though not written for?), mentions Cronenberg. What do you think?

Also, it is my firm belief that I could write a better essay on Christian symbolism in Labyrinth, and I don't believe that there are any. I mean, the parallels are sort of fun: Sarah as Christ, descending into Hell to save future humanity (Toby), Ludo as St. Peter (upon this rock...), Hoggle as Judas (no commentary necessary), the scene in the junkyard where a goblin offers Sarah her dolls and toys if she'll forget about the baby as the 40 days in the desert schtick, etc. There's also a strong temptation to cast Sir Didymus as the Archangel Michael, but I'm trying to resist it.

Not that there's any point in it. We all know that Labyrinth is just ~~an allegory for the confrontation with the shadow self, as described by Jung and Campbell~~ an excuse to spend a lot of time thinking about David Bowie's crotch.

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I like this: "as long as she believes, Christ will be there with her. In her bedroom."

That's where I'd like to have Christ.

But really, a good Christian message might have chosen shots of Bowie that didn't include the crotch.

I still fail to see why people like that movie so much. I also rather fail to see why people have a thing for Bowie's crotch, but I suspect strongly that the two are related.

Sweet. Jesus/

chronarchy slash is on the horizon.

As to why people like the movie, I'm not certain. Personally, I like goblins. And also, David Bowie is a sex god, though that's not an opinion I expect you to share :)

Oh, now *this* I look forward to.

That's the kind of love I have for you, man. I will write dirty stories about you and major religious figures.

Hmm. . . Better not to blaspheme against certain religious figures, as I was thinking about doing.

I appreciate it, though. I wonder. . . Does Jesus pitch or catch?

Who are you contemplating blaspheming against?

Also, Jesus says "This is my body, take it and eat". What do *you* think?

I was thinking,

"Just don't pair me with Buddha. I don't dig fatties."

But it sounds totally shallow to reject a major spiritual leader just because he's packing some extra pounds.

The fat guy's actually a future Buddha, Matreiya, or some such thing. The original fellow, Siddhartha, got into the fasting quite a bit and was on the stick-like side.

Personally, I'd rather have a fat guy than an ascetic. Your basic fat guy is at least capable of having a good time.

From Memory Of Some Comic I Heard:

Buddha? He Was To Fat To Hang On A Cross. So They Said 'Aw, Just Sit Quietly.'

...He's Still Smiling About It Now!

"This is my body, take it and eat". What do *you* think?

Score.

I think its serious, simply because it's not that funny.

Besides, everyone knows that Sarah is really Mary, duh.

This is the part that confused me the most.

She's finally shown the way by a little worm, meant obviously to be seen as a phallic symbol. Why, he even has a quaint little cockney accent. The little penis shows Sarah which way is the right way, and even tries to prevent her from a path that leads to Satan.

Um... Is that another anti-gay thing? Please tell me why she said a penis would lead her down the path to God... lol

Actually, I'm fairly certain this was meant to be funny. Whether it was or not is debatable, but the scary thing is how believable it was that someone would really write and think such a thing.

But considering she had six posts after that (when she was supposedly leaving) and that her previous reviews included "Rating the Lesbians, Volume 7" lol, I'm sure she meant it in good humor.

But I think you're right. I think you could have done a better job.

But dear Gods, I hope it was satire. I haven't laughed that much since, well, since never.

And yes, you can do utterly better than that.

ok so i would love to say that it was satire, as i found it immensly amusing, however, i grew up with people who've said and believed much of what she was stating it makes me think she was more serious than satire, and that, kinda scares me, or at least brings back scary memories. j/k

It has a link to David Bowie's Area, so I vote satire. Just very badly written satire. The misuse of apropos about killed me right off the bat.

Thank you for pointing that out to me. I would hate to think I'd gone through life having missed a link to David Bowie's Area.

Actually, that was bizarrely funny. Or I just like to look at his crotch. We report, you decide.

Okay. I've decided . . . I like to look at David Bowie's crotch.

So there was this thing, with the escalation of awfulness...

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That's where I'd like to have Christ.

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Buddhas

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"So that would make Bethany... part black?"

Actually...

Not to sound condescending, or anything....

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